The Trouble With Chocolate

Can chocolate be trouble? Yes, in my books, it can, and Audrey Hepburn is to blame!

I’m really bothered, severely troubled, and it’s all to do with this commercial.

So there you have it. Cute commercial, yes? But, where does the word ‘trouble’ come into it and why am I bothered by what Audrey Hepburn is up to on that bus?

Now, I know some of you are shaking your heads and looking at me as if I’ve just announced I’ve purchased a cat flap for a submarine, but please stay with me on this and let me tell you why I think that commercial has made me believe chocolate is nothing but trouble.

Maybe the trouble is to do with the beautiful scenery right at the beginning?

Is it the beautiful Audrey Hepburn look-a-like sat on the bus? She does have incredible eyes, doesn’t she? All sort of puppy looking and adorable.

Is it what she reveals is inside her handbag when she opens it?

Oh, wait! What about the handsome chap who pulls up in the car beside the bus? No, he’s not my type, and why is there a woman sitting on the bus with a yellow bowl on her head? Did you see her? Yes?

Now, where was I? Oh yes, what was inside Audrey’s handbag. Now considering she’s sat on a hot bus (because it’s a beautiful sunny day outside and the commercial is set in a hot country), should that chocolate bar not have melted in her handbag? Does the guy sitting next to her look like he needs some Gaviscon? To me, it seems like he has heartburn. Are you still shaking your head?

Is it the music and the song, Moon River, that is the problem, or what about the singer’s voice? Beautiful voice, yeah, but wouldn’t make it on X-Factor or The Voice. Besides, I prefer the original version.

Then there’s that guy in the car. He may be good-looking, but, believe me, I don’t think he’s the one who is trouble. OK, I wouldn’t turn down an offer of a beer with him just to find out what hair products he uses and discuss why Barbie and Ken never got married, but, believe me, it’s not him.

Right, back to the commercial. Is that a pumpkin on the road Audrey passes when she gets off the bus? Did they have big ripe pumpkins in the middle of summer in the 1950s, and why has somebody painted what looks like two caterpillars above Audrey’s eyes? I’m sure they’re moving around her face.

Could it be the rugged bus driver that is the trouble? Is it him I want to see in place of Audrey on the bus? Well, no, because who would then drive the bus? Audrey? Not with the shoes she’s wearing. No way! I’d be off that bus quicker than my Aunt Mary being chased down Dagenham High Street by two Store Detectives after sticking a frozen turkey up her jumper and making a run for it.

Now, back to the good-looking man in the car. Do you think he has a big head? I only ask, as when Audrey puts the bus driver’s cap on him before getting into his car, it looks at least two sizes too small for him. On the other hand, maybe the bus driver has a small head? After all, he is bald. Perhaps that is why the cap is far too small for the good-looking man driving the car? What do you think?

How on earth did Audrey get the chocolate bar out of her handbag as the good-looking man whisked her off in his car? I never saw her open her bag and get the chocolate out. Did you? And, come on, Audrey, would you really get into a strange man’s car without even asking his name?

Want to know what happened to Audrey after being driven off in that strange man’s car? Was there really romance in the air? Click here for all the details.

Do you ever have problems with chocolate?