November 4, 2021, prompt: In 99 words (no more, no less), write a story about a film festival. It can be a small-town indie fest or the Festival de Cannes or anything in between. Who is in the story? An audience-goer, filmmaker, actress, or something unexpected? Through in some popcorn for fun. Go where the prompt leads!
Theatre Of Memories – by Hugh W. Roberts
“What’s the matter? Why are you crying?” whispered Adrian to his husband.
“I can’t help it,” sobbed Richard. “This LGBT film festival brings us lots to smile about, and when you see what we’re viewing on the screen right now, I can’t help but think about the times when, as a young boy, I cried myself to sleep because I thought I was all alone in this world.”
Looking around the theatre, Adrian witnessed evidence of tears and popcorn. Looking up at the screen, he squeezed Richard’s hand tight and watched the story unfold in front of the world.
When I woke up that Saturday morning, little did I know that something I was hiding from view from others was about to have the key put in the ignition and set me off on a journey that was to become the life I was born with.
True Stories: Gay Memories
It was a Saturday morning like any other Saturday morning. I always got up first because I’m an early bird.
After breakfast, I’d sit down and watch Multi-Coloured Swap Shop – a children’s TV show on Saturday morning.
The theme to the TV show Swap Shop
The fact that I was 17 years old didn’t put me off from watching it. I loved watching it. It got my weekend off to a perfect start.
Just after midday, I always went into town to buy an array of snacks for myself for the evening. I still preferred to spend Saturday evenings indoors watching television like I did on Saturday mornings.
My parents thought it unusual for a boy my age to want to stay in on a Saturday evening. At the time, I thought they knew nothing about why I did not want to go out. Years later, I discovered my mother had already suspected I was gay.
Whereas boys my age were going out to drink alcohol and date girls, my Saturday evening treat was the snacks (including a small trifle from Marks & Spencer) and Saturday evening television.
I always visited the same shops to browse or buy something. On this particular Saturday, though, something I’d seen on TV that morning made me go into a shop I hardly ever visited.
Scanning the shelves full of newspapers and magazines for the music newspaper I wanted, it soon caught my eye.
On the front was a picture of the singing duo Chasand Dave. I didn’t particularly like their music, but I found both men sexually attractive.
Picking up the newspaper, I flicked through it, pretending not to notice the picture and taking little, if any, notice of who was around me.
Towards the back of the newspaper, I stumbled upon the advertisement section, and one of the adverts immediately got my attention.
It was a significant point in my life that opened a door and invited me to step through.
I didn’t personally know any other gay people, yet here was an advert in a music newspaper about a world I belonged to yet knew little of.
Gay? Then you should read Gay News. Once fortnightly. For a copy, send a postal order for (I can’t remember how much) to –
At that moment, a member of staff entered the shop and shouted over to the cashier –
“I see the library is open again, Karen.”
She was referring to me and a few other customers who were all flicking through various newspapers and magazines. I quickly closed the paper to see if anybody noticed me reading the advert.
At that point, I wanted to put down the paper and rush out of the shop, but the chance of being in touch with other gay people stopped me from doing so.
I told myself to be brave, quickly walked over to Karen, and nervously placed the newspaper by the cash register. “Got everything you need today?” she asked me as she pushed the keys on the cash register.
Nodding my head, I could feel myself blushing. I thought she knew which advert I’d been reading and was about to stand up and announce, ‘This one’s queer!” Of course, that never happened.
As I walked home, my heartbeat raced. I kept looking behind to check if anyone was following me. After all, unlike my straight friends, it was still illegal for me (as a gay man) to have sex with a same-sex partner until I was 21.
Precisely one week later, I waited patiently for the postman to arrive. When my first copy of Gay News came through the letterbox, I rushed downstairs before anybody else got to the post.
I was relieved that the people at Gay News did as they had promised to do in their advertisement. My copy of the paper arrived in a plain brown envelope.
My hands shook as I took the envelope up to my bedroom. Carefully tearing it open, I allowed the life I’d been hiding to start coming out of the closet.
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Can chocolate be trouble? Yes, in my books, it can, and Audrey Hepburn is to blame!
I’m really bothered, severely troubled, and it’s all to do with this commercial.
So there you have it. Cute commercial, yes? But, where does the word ‘trouble’ come into it, and why am I bothered by what Audrey Hepburn is up to on that bus?
Now, I know some of you are shaking your heads and looking at me as if I’ve just announced I’ve purchased a cat flap for a submarine, but please stay with me on this and let me tell you why I think that commercial has made me believe chocolate is nothing but trouble.
Maybe the trouble is to do with the beautiful scenery right at the beginning?
Is it the beautiful Audrey Hepburn look-alike sitting on the bus? She does have incredible eyes, doesn’t she?
Is it what she reveals is inside her handbag when she opens it?
Oh, wait! What about the handsome chap who pulls up in the car beside the bus? No, he’s not my type, and why is there a woman sitting on the bus with a yellow bowl on her head? Did you see her? Yes?
Now, where was I? Oh yes, what was inside Audrey’s handbag? Now, considering she’s sat on a hot bus (because it’s a beautiful sunny day outside and the commercial is set in a hot country), should that chocolate bar not have melted in her handbag? Does the guy sitting next to her look like he needs some Gaviscon? To me, it seems like he has heartburn. Are you still shaking your head?
Is it the music and the song, Moon River, that is the problem, or what about the singer’s voice? Beautiful voice, yeah, but wouldn’t make it on X-Factor or The Voice. Besides, I prefer the original version.
Then there’s that guy in the car. He may be good-looking, but, believe me, I don’t think he’s the one who is in trouble. OK, I wouldn’t turn down an offer of a beer with him just to find out what hair products he uses and discuss why Barbie and Ken never got married, but, believe me, it’s not him.
Right, back to the commercial. Is that a pumpkin on the road Audrey passes when she gets off the bus? Did they have big ripe pumpkins in the middle of summer in the 1950s, and why has somebody painted what looks like two caterpillars above Audrey’s eyes? I’m sure they’re moving around her face.
Could it be the rugged bus driver who is the trouble? Is it him I want to see in Audrey’s place on the bus? Well, no, because who would then drive the bus? Audrey? Not with the shoes she’s wearing. No way! I’d be off that bus quicker than my Aunt Mary being chased down Dagenham High Street by two Store Detectives after sticking a frozen turkey up her jumper and making a run for it.
Now, back to the good-looking man in the car. Do you think he has a big head? I only ask, as when Audrey puts the bus driver’s cap on him before getting into his car, it looks at least two sizes too small for him. On the other hand, maybe the bus driver has a small head? After all, he is bald. Perhaps that is why the cap is far too small for the good-looking man driving the car? What do you think?
How on earth did Audrey get the chocolate bar out of her handbag as the good-looking man whisked her off in his car? I never saw her open her bag and get the chocolate out. Did you? And, come on, Audrey, would you really get into a strange man’s car without even asking his name?
Want to know what happened to Audrey after being driven off in that strange man’s car? Was there really romance in the air? Click here for all the details.
This is no joke. Sorry if you thought I was going to double you up with laughter. No, today I’m talking stereotyping! I thought it was a thing of the past, but it seems it’s as evident today as it has always been.
Take, for example, television. Have you ever noticed that in a pub scene on a TV show, the men seem to be constantly drinking pints or bottles of beer, while the women drink glasses of wine or a gin-and-vodka tonic?
How often have you seen a man in a pub scene drinking a glass of wine and a woman drinking a beer? Some may say it’s down to taste, but surely not all the men in Coronation Street only drink beer while the women always order a glass of wine?
I’ll give it to Emmerdale (another UK soap opera), as I have seen at least one female character (the vicar!) drinking a pint of beer. It’s refreshing to see, but I’ve yet to see any men walk in and ask for a gin and tonic! It’s always “pint please, Chas.”
Let’s turn our attention to the news. I know many people don’t watch the news on TV because it’s always depressing, but take ‘Breakfast’, the BBC’s early morning news programme.
Why does the man always sit on the left of the screen, while his co-presenter, a woman, always sits on the right? Is it some kind of power struggle? Why can’t they occasionally swap positions?
Charlie State and Naga Munchetty, Presenters of the BBC’s Breakfast – He always sits on the left while she always sits on the right. Picture of my TV screen taken by me.
This leads me to wonder why it always has to be a man and a woman when two people read the news on TV. ‘Breakfast’ occasionally has two women presenting the show, but I’ve never seen it with two men. Why? Is it not acceptable for two men to present the news together?
It’s precisely the same over on ITV. The man sits on the left of the screen while the woman always sits on the right.
Have you noticed that the male presenter seems much older (not you, Charlie) than the woman presenter? Very rarely is it the other way around? Is there a reason for that?
Let’s move on to driving. Yesterday, while waiting to cross the road, I counted the cars that drove past, where a man and woman were sitting in the front of the vehicle. Would you be surprised if I told you that it was the man who was driving in just about all of the cars?
I saw it while on holiday as well. The man usually drives a hired vehicle while the woman sits in the front passenger seat.
It happens in our family all the time. We go to pick up my sister-in-law and her husband, and I can guarantee that my sister-in-law will sit in the back seat while her husband will sit in the front passenger seat.
The same goes for my niece and her husband. When they come to visit us, he always drives, regardless of whose car they are using.
Take two couples going off on a car journey together. Why do the men always sit together in the front while the two women sit in the back of the car?
Celebrating at the London 2012 Olympic Games
Sport also suffers from stereotyping. Today, I was delighted to hear that Tom Daley and Dan Goodfellow won an Olympic bronze medal in the synchronised 10m platform diving.
On TV, ‘Breakfast’ mentioned it all morning, and the interview with Daley and Goodfellow was aired far too many times. They even interviewed a friend of Daley and Goodfellow’s, who talked the audience through the last dive more times than I care to remember.
However, where were Clare Balding and Co when Ed Ling won an Olympic bronze medal in the men’s trap shooting for Great Britain? Was he not worthy of an interview, Ms Balding? And why, unlike Daley and Goodfellow, did he only get a few seconds of a mention on ‘Breakfast’? Ed, if you’re reading this, then, unlike the BBC, I’d be delighted to interview you and celebrate the fact that you won an Olympic bronze medal.
Finally, let’s turn back to drink. How many of you ladies enjoy drinking whisky? Does anybody out there consider whisky to be only a man’s drink? Why am I asking these questions? It’s something that recently came up in conversation.
It seems I’m as guilty as most others at stereotyping. Reading through this post, why did I put an exclamation mark after the word vicar? Do vicars not drink alcohol?
Do you have any examples of stereotyping in today’s world? Does it bother you, or is it something we just take for granted?
Hugh's Views & News 