When Bloggers Vanish: Online Friendships, Goodbyes and Silence

How missed would I be if suddenly, without warning, I disappeared from the blogging world?

This was the question I asked myself after reading the opening line of a post that asked, ‘Did you miss me last week?’

The Sudden Silence

The blogger had been missing for a week. I don’t know how often she publishes blog posts, as I have never followed her blog, but that opening question had me wondering and made me think about bloggers who disappear without any trace.

I soon realised there were bloggers and readers I hadn’t seen for a while. But how concerned should I be about them? I guess it depends on when they last published a post, when I last had a comment from them, or when I saw a comment from them on another blog. Does being away for one week mean a blogger thinks people out there will have missed them? How long should a blogger go missing without warning before worrying about them?

I guess we would know if any of our regular readers went missing. I’m talking here about those who engage with us regularly. But not commenting on one post shouldn’t concern us, should it? How many missed comments would it take for us to become concerned about another blogger?

“In blogging, absence doesn’t always come with explanation.”

Why Do Bloggers Vanish?

There are many reasons a blogger might vanish. These include –

  • Blogging burnout
  • Health or personal struggles
  • Loss of interest
  • Privacy concerns
  • Life simply moving on

Thankfully, most bloggers who leave the blogging world write a farewell post, but many disappear without warning. There could be a family emergency, an illness, or other reasons. Some come back with an apology for being away, although, in my view, an apology isn’t necessary, especially when they’ve been absent due to an emergency.

The Goodbye We Never Got

Sometimes the hardest goodbyes are the ones that were never said. Some bloggers disappear from our lives without warning, often leaving us with no way to contact them. When that happens, I believe it’s only right to leave them alone rather than try to find them. The lack of closure can be difficult, but they cut off contact for a reason, probably something they didn’t want to discuss.

If you are thinking about ending your blog, do consider that silence can feel very different from writing a farewell post. There seems to be a human need for endings, although I have always believed there is no such thing as an ending; it’s just the point where we leave the story.

“Blogging may happen on screens, but the friendships it creates leave very real footprints — even when the trail suddenly stops.”

Still Here, Still Reading?

I’ve been blogging on WordPress for over 12 years, and although I no longer follow many of the blogs I used to, I appreciate that they are still there when I see those bloggers on social media and in the comment sections of the blogs I follow.

If someone goes missing and it’s someone you have grown a friendship with, I encourage you to check in on them if they are still on social media or you have their email address. But if they have cut all communication, they’ve done so for a reason.

While some online friendships can be fleeting, I’ve witnessed countless genuine friendships form through blogging. Those friendships can grow into something special, so don’t be afraid to reach out and ask for help if life gets tough. Remember that not all friendships are measured in miles – some are measured in comments and discussion.

“Is it better to search for answers, or to simply appreciate the time we shared?”

What do you think? Have you ever seen a blogger quietly disappear from your online world? Did you try to reach out, or did you respect the silence? Should we try to reconnect when someone disappears, or accept that some chapters are meant to close without a final page? I’d love to hear your thoughts and experiences in the comments. How do you handle goodbyes in the blogging world? How long do you think it would take your readers to miss you?

As always, I appreciate hearing your thoughts.

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130 responses to “When Bloggers Vanish: Online Friendships, Goodbyes and Silence”

  1. noelleg44 avatar

    I followed Sue Vincent for years and loved her posts. When She got cancer, her posting dwindled, but I kept up an email conversation with her until just before she died.

    1. Hugh W. Roberts avatar

      The wonderful Sue Vincent. Was she at the Bloggers Bash you attended, Noelle? I am so glad I got to meet Sue. She ignited many of the short stories I wrote with the writing challenge she used to publish on her blog.

      1. noelleg44 avatar

        Yes, she was at the Blogger’s Bash in London that I attended. We emailed frquently during her last year, exchanging recipes!

        1. Hugh W. Roberts avatar

          Wonderful. It shows us all just how blogging can build up friendships.

          1. noelleg44 avatar

            I’ve stopped to meet a few bloggers here on the East Coast when we’ve been in their area. Always fun. I do miss Sue and Ani.

  2. Cathy avatar

    What a coincidence to read this today, Hugh. Someone who stopped posting quite a while ago got in touch a couple of days ago which I was very happy about, but yes, a good number of bloggers that were around when I first started have disappeared.

    1. Hugh W. Roberts avatar

      Like you, I’ve seen a big number of bloggers come and go in the time I have been on WordPress, Cathy. I’m glad to hear that you were contacted by somebody who stopped blogging. I hope they stopped blogging on a positive note.

      1. Cathy avatar

        Unfortunately not, it was health issues.

        1. Hugh W. Roberts avatar

          I’m sorry to hear that, but I’m glad she contacted you, Cathy.

  3. Terri Webster Schrandt avatar

    This is a great post and brings up a lot of thoughts about the reasons we blog, Hugh. I’ve personally experienced 3 levels of absence: those who are flash-in-the-pan.. they blog every day for weeks then silence. And that reminds me to check on a fellow blogger. See how that works?

    Then there are those who write consistently who are aging. I followed one nice lady who joined Sunday Stills but moved to assisted living, in which she shared about that experience. Then one day, nothing. That indicated illness or sudden death. Another one blogged about her dressage horse, and also mentioned illnesses and her age. I think it is sad to go to their blog site and see the last post was months ago.

    Still another blogger in Sacramento, who was going through cancer treatment, stopped. Her husband posted on her blog that she had passed away. I never met her in person, but knowing she lived close by and that we had talked about meeting for lunch, really made me sad. At least there was closure.

    Because I host two challenges, my blog has purpose for me to continue. As you know, I have met countless people in real life and I know when someone decides to stop blogging. I did a farewell post in early 2018, but missed the creative outlet so much I came back with the resurrection of Sunday Stills. Sure, its a bit of work but its a hobby I enjoy. One of these days I’ll stop and you will, too. For now, we enjoy the creativity and engagement. Thank you for another thought-provoking post!

    1. Hugh W. Roberts avatar

      It’s always sad when bloggers go missing without any notice. I always think the worst when it happens, Terri. Sadly, I also know of a few bloggers who are no longer with us, but only because their passing was announced on their blogs or by other bloggers. I don’t know about you, but I have shared my login details. My partner has them in case I cannot write for whatever reason. At least then, my followers know why I am no longer able to blog. We never know what life has in store for us, but more importantly, when it will happen.

      It’s sad seeing abandoned blogs. There are so many of them. Some say they act as beacons, but when we don’t know why they have been abandoned, those unanswered questions dim the light.

      We probably encounter many more people in the blogging world than we do in life outside of blogging. That’s why engagement is so important, and the blogging community as a whole is a caring place. People look after each other and get concerned when certain bloggers suddenly go missing. It does make you think we should act now rather than just say we will.

      I’m glad many have said this post has been thought-provoking, because that was what I was hoping to achieve.

  4. smiley 🙂 avatar

    Hi….I am smiley….
    I also want to be a good blogger ……
    But due to my studies I didn’t post anything….my last post was at july 2025 …by reading your blog I realised that I should keep writing…..I should share my thoughts……either anyone reads it or not but I must follow my passion …..thank you for such a helpful blog

    1. Hugh W. Roberts avatar

      You’re welcome, Smiley.
      Yes, do follow your passion for writing. Unless we receive comments, we never know who reads our blogs. But there are many readers out there who never comment, and I am sure they miss you when you do not post.
      Good luck with your studies.

  5. ghostmmnc avatar

    It makes us think, for sure when someone we’ve had blogging conversations with all of a sudden is not there any more. I miss them and hope they are okay. I’ll check their blog to see if there has been any more posts once in awhile though. I go missing once in awhile if I’m in the hospital. I can never get wi fi there so can’t check in. I’ve had regular readers say they were worried when I do get back on line though. That’s nice to hear. :)

    1. Hugh W. Roberts avatar

      It makes you think about whether we should give someone (a family member or friend) our blog login details in case we can’t log in ourselves, so they can let readers know why someone has gone offline. I saw this happen a few years ago when a family member announced a blogger’s death on the blogger’s blog. It was very sad news, but it probably helped many of those who read it. Now, my partner has my blog login details in case I am unable to get to my blog (for whatever reason).

      I’m glad that some of your regular readers were worried about you when you were in hospital and unable to access your blog. The blogging community is very caring towards one another.

      1. ghostmmnc avatar

        Very good idea to have someone that can make some kind of announcement on our blog if we are unable to any more. :)

        1. Hugh W. Roberts avatar

          It’s certainly something to think seriously about. And it would give many people closure.

  6. Klausbernd avatar

    We have been blogging for more than 15 years now; well, bloggers come and go. We are blogging in a small core group of about 20 people. Some of them we met in ‘real life’. If one of them stopped blogging, we would ask ourselves what the reason is. But actually, we are more astonished that people like us are blogging for years. How to keep yourself motivated, and why? You have to be quite narcissistic to go on and on blogging without any monetary reward. We find it very understandable when people stop blogging. We suppose, if we were to stop blogging, we would say goodbye on our blog.
    The Fab Four of Cley
    :-) :-) :-) :-)

    1. Hugh W. Roberts avatar

      Yes, I have also seen many bloggers come and go over the 12 years I have been blogging.

      I used to be a part of some blogging communities, but not so much anymore, as I found they could sometimes get too overwhelming. However, I always appreciate seeing some of those bloggers in the comments sections of other blogs and on social media.

      There are many reasons why we continue to blog. Mine is that I enjoy writing, even though I am dyslexic. The blogging world is where my love of writing returned after I had been too frightened of what people would say about my writing. It gave me the confidence to kick dyslexia back into touch after allowing it to interfere in my life for far too long. Now it aids my writing rather than making me frightened to write anything.

      Likewise, if I ever decided to stop blogging, I would write and publish a farewell post. No plans for that happen just yet, but I’d certainly let my audience know that I was leaving the room.

      1. Klausbernd avatar

        I was a professional writer. I taught writing, wrote books and scripts and edited texts. Actually, I do what I always did. Well, I still like it.
        I can well understand that you are overcoming your dyslexia by blogging. You do very well 👍👍
        All the best
        Klausbernd :-)

        1. Hugh W. Roberts avatar

          Thank you, Klausbernd.

  7. Johnbritto Kurusumuthu avatar

    This is a thoughtful reflection on a reality many bloggers experience. Over time, we form genuine connections through our posts and comments, and when someone suddenly disappears, the silence can feel surprisingly personal. Your post is a timely reminder to value these online friendships, appreciate each interaction, and remember that behind every blog is a real person with a life story we may never fully know. Thank you for highlighting this often-overlooked aspect of the blogging community.

    1. Hugh W. Roberts avatar

      You’re welcome. Online friendships can be as important as those we form with people we have met. I’ve witnessed many friendships form in the blogging world, so when someone we have never met in person goes missing, it can be just as devastating to us.

      On the whole, the blogging community is a wonderful place to be. And we can learn just as much with our online friends as we do with those we know in person.

      1. Johnbritto Kurusumuthu avatar

        I completely agree, Hugh. One of the remarkable aspects of blogging is how it allows meaningful friendships to grow across distances, cultures, and backgrounds. While we may never meet many fellow bloggers face-to-face, the encouragement, conversations, and shared experiences create bonds that are very real.

        Your post reminds us not to take these connections for granted. Every comment, visit, and exchange contributes to a sense of community that enriches our lives. The blogging world truly is a special place where we can learn from one another, offer support, and grow together in ways that often extend far beyond our screens.

        1. Hugh W. Roberts avatar

          I agree with what you say. The blogging world is a place to learn something new almost every day, and a place where we meet people we would never have encountered had we not started blogging. Some of the connections will last for the rest of our lives. It truly is a magical place to visit.

          1. Johnbritto Kurusumuthu avatar

            Well said. One of the greatest gifts of blogging is the opportunity to connect with people we might never have crossed paths with otherwise. Through these interactions, we gain new perspectives, learn from diverse experiences, and often discover unexpected friendships.

            What begins as a simple exchange of comments can grow into a lasting connection built on mutual respect and shared interests. That is indeed part of the magic of the blogging world—it brings people together, fosters understanding, and creates a community that extends far beyond the written word.

            1. Hugh W. Roberts avatar

              Well said, John. Let’s hope that the world of blogging continues to give all of that for many years to come.

  8. ISHVI THE PHILOMATH avatar

    I love this! Thank you. I disappeared for 6months to a year because I got operated. Some did comment on my last post and checked on me. I appreciate that but some just got mad over an insight I was writing about and after that stopped talkin to me. I do not even know his background and he felt that what I write was against what he has experienced. Anyway, it wasnt about him. But he just stopped reading and commenting.

    So I never expect people to stay. But, I have a few I always see read and liked and comment on my blogs and I appreciate them.

    I have so much goin on I do not like drama. I just want to be happy. Thanks for this post. It was nice.

    1. Hugh W. Roberts avatar

      I’m delighted you like my post. Health issues are generally the number one reason someone disappears from the blogging world. And some regular readers will always be concerned when we don’t show up.

      We can never please everyone with what we write and publish. But don’t allow anyone to threaten your love of blogging. I don’t mind anyone disagreeing with me, provided it is done in a friendly and professional manner. I won’t engage with anyone who threatens or is rude to me. Those comments are best marked as spam and not approved for public view.

      Every blog loses followers, something we should never concern ourselves with. It’s just one part of the bigger jigsaw puzzle of blogging. I unfollow blogs when they no longer interest me, and I expect people to do the same by unfollowing my blog when they no longer find what I write interesting.

  9. brazannemuse avatar

    Intriguing read Hugh – the kind of question that gets me thinking! I have disappeared several times as I have chronic illness and personal situations that mean blogging has to take a back seat. I have had one or two bloggers email to check on me, which I appreciated. Some I think just stop following, and that’s OK too. I do notice when bloggers aren’t around and just hope they are OK but I feel this is another world a bit like life – there are people that I was really close with (now on that Christmas card list!), and others really do disappear. Then there are new friends that I have become very close with, and some very old friends still as thick as thieves. I do wonder if I offended, but if they don’t want to say there is nothing I can do – maybe we have to gracefully let go. People in real life and blog life come into our lives maybe for one post (one day), a holiday friendship, a chapter or the long haul, I think everyone brings us something that maybe we and they need at the time….. I will be pondering this for a while…. thank you 💞Suzanne

    1. Hugh W. Roberts avatar

      What a fantastic response from you to my questions in this post, Suzanne. Do you mind if I ask whether you wrote a post to inform your readers that you were taking a break from blogging? I’m glad to hear that two bloggers emailed you, though. We may never meet many of the people we speak with in the blogging world, but many of them can become close friends.

      Unfortunately, when a blog goes silent for many months without notice, some people will unfollow, believing there will be no more posts. I’m guilty of doing that, though I now wait at least 12 months before considering unfollowing.

      Likewise, I’ve also got some bloggers whom I swap Christmas cards with. I’ve also been very honoured to meet some of the bloggers who have entered my blogging world over the last 12 years. Those were moments I will never forget. I have some photos of the events. Unfortunately, many of those bloggers have since left the blogging world, although most on good terms.

      1. brazannemuse avatar

        I would love to meet some of my blogging friends, I hadn’t anticipated there could be such a connection made – it is very special, how wonderful you have been able to have those opportunities.

        I was able to put a post up once knowing I would be absent, another time I didn’t have the opportunity (far too ill in hospital). I put a brief note when I returned but felt far too much to go into so widely and felt most wouldn’t want to read, so I just started responding to prompts again and if individuals asked then I replied to them …

        1. Hugh W. Roberts avatar

          Some things are best kept personal. After all, we never know who is viewing and reading our blogs. Those who comment, yes, but those who never comment, we probably will never know who they are.

          I was very fortunate to have been part of the Bloggers’ Bash, an event held in London between 2015 and 2019, where I met many bloggers. There are videos on my YouTube account of some of the bloggers introducing themselves. Sadly, some are no longer with us, but those events bring back many happy memories.

  10. wrookieschu avatar

    Another thought provoking post Hugh. I think it’s really sad when bloggers just vanish as for most of the bloggers I follow, there is no way to make contact with them, no way to ask why or see how they’re doing. Sadly, I also forget a lot of the bloggers if they haven’t commented in a while. There was one blogger I loved to follow and it was only when someone else mentioned their absence, that I realised. It was lovely to see many bloggers coming together to try find out the situation but I was saddened to think maybe something bad had happened their health. Either way, I never found out.

    1. Hugh W. Roberts avatar

      It’s always sad when that happens, Wayne. When bloggers cut all ties, including on social media and when emails bounce back saying the email address no longer exists, I think it’s a clear message that the person doesn’t want to be contacted. I’ve had a few bloggers leave unannounced but who remained on social media, and they’ve often explained in a social media post why they deleted their blog.

      Then there are the blogs that are still there but have had no activity on them for years. Seeing those abandoned blogs is more upsetting to me.

      It’s human instinct to want answers, but sometimes we have to respect that the person who has those answers may not want to share them. It’s difficult, but I respect their wishes.

      1. wrookieschu avatar

        Yes very true. If they don’t want to be contacted, that’s completely fine. It’s good you have addressed this Hugh as I feel it’s a common feature in the blogging world. Will be interesting to see other people’s thoughts too.

        1. Hugh W. Roberts avatar

          I’ve seen many bloggers come and go in the 12 years I’ve blogged, Wayne. Thankfully, the majority of them left for good reasons.

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