I’d just sat down to a nice cup of coffee.

Two sugar sachets are on the saucer. The teaspoon looks rusty and dirty from too many dishwasher washes. Never mind, the coffee looks good, and it’s a beautiful day here on Mumbles seafront.

I take my first sip, and then it begins.

“Hello, Brian, can you hear me……I’m on the mobile……can you hear me, Brian?”

Bit of a pause.

“Brian, can you……what?…….what did you say, Brian?”

Longer pause.

“I’m ringing to find out if…….Brian, are you still there?”

Bit of a pause.

“OK, I’m waving now. Can you see me?”

Pause

“Well, I’m waving. Hold on, I’ll get Margaret to wave.”

Margaret starts to wave her hand.

“Can you see us?”

Pause

“Well, I can’t understand it; we’re both waving. Are you there, Brian? Can you hear me?”

Pause

“Yes, I was ringing to find out if it was working?”

Pause

“No, I said, I was ringing…….Brian, can you hear me? Perhaps you can’t hear what I’m saying?”

Pause.

“OK, I’ll get Margaret to wave again. Hold on.”

Margaret waves again, and a small girl passing by, licking an ice cream cone, waves back at her.

“Can you see her waving, Brian? I’m waving now as well. Can you see us?”

Pause.

“No, I’ve been to the Opticians. My eyes are OK. I wasn’t ringing about that; I was ringing about the……”

Longer pause.

“No, my eyes are fine. They said I could continue with the glasses I’ve had for the last… hello…Brian, can you hear me? Are you still there, Brian?”

He looks at the phone.

“I think he’s gone, Margaret.”

He puts the phone back to his ear.

“Brian, are you still there?”

By this time, I had gulped my coffee down, wanting to get away, but then he looked at the phone again, and this time he closed it up, since it was one of those clam-style phones. I thought about getting another coffee and maybe a cake to continue my people-watching, but then his phone rang.

“Hello…Brian, is that you? Can you hear me?”

Not wanting to find out what he wanted to know was working; Toby and I made a rapid departure.

We enjoyed a lovely, quiet walk home along the beach without the sound of any mobile phones going off.

Toby on the beach

Have you ever overheard a one-sided conversation? What was it about?

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73 responses to “How To Spend A Restful Few Minutes Over A Cup Of Coffee”

  1. D. Wallace Peach avatar

    The story of my life out here in sketchy cell phone country. Ha ha. Loved it.

    1. Hugh's Views and News avatar

      Thanks, Diana. I hope to catch a few more of these conversations so I can write about them or include them in one of my short stories.

  2. Sacha Black avatar

    hilarious Hugh, albeit not the most pleasant of interruptions!

    1. Hugh's Views and News avatar

      No, but certainly worth listening into sometimes if only for ideas for writing. 😀

  3. insearchofitall avatar

    That sounds very much like every conversation I have with my sister! :)

    1. Hugh's Views and News avatar

      lol, you and your sister would be great subjects to sit and listen to for great writing ideas then. 😀

      1. insearchofitall avatar

        I can write a whole book just on my sister. :)

        1. Hugh's Views and News avatar

          I look forward to reading it 😀

  4. Eric Klingenberg avatar

    I hate when people do that, they have some strange belief we are all interested in their conversation. It’s the same as people who insist on talking loudly. I wouldn’t mind if was an interesting conversation but it rarely is.

    1. Hugh's Views and News avatar

      Agreed, although I do wonder what it was that he was asking Brian was working again? I think these snippets also help with our writing and I’ve heard a great many of writers go out and sit and listen so they can get some ideas. What makes me laugh is those that think they have to shout down the phone in case the person at the other end can’t hear them (as in this case).

      1. Eric Klingenberg avatar

        They should try a tin can and string.

  5. Terri Webster Schrandt avatar

    Your view definitely improved! Coffee houses are always great fodder for stories! Enjoy your sunny weekend! Rain here in California…imagine that!

    1. Hugh's Views and News avatar

      I agree, they are, Terri. I hope to pick up a few more over the coming months. They make for great fiction and characters.
      Hope you don’t get too much rain. We’re enjoying a mini heatwave here in the UK. 🌞

  6. Sherri avatar

    Haha…so glad you and Toby found peace on your lovely, calm and peaceful beach walk Hugh! I hear some interesting and amusing one-sided conversations on my weekly train trips to London while attending the memoir workshop. The thing that always gets me is when the person picks up after an annoyingly loud ringtone disturbing the already rather precarious peace, and the first thing out of their mouths is: “Hi, I’m on the train…” I know the person on the other end probably doesn’t know that fascinating bit of information, but sorry, I always feel like saying, “No S****!”

    1. Hugh's Views and News avatar

      Yes, I’ve heard that said often, Sherri. It always amuses me as well. However, since publishing this post, a few people have mentioned at how these conversations can work to our benefit. They could, for example, become part of a story we are writing or we could find ourselves with a brand new character. 😀 Cool idea, and one I have used myself in the past.
      We went out again yesterday and had lunch sat in the sunshine, but nothing of any interest was overheard this time. 😒

      1. Sherri avatar

        Yes, I agree Hugh! Part of being in the thick of things like this certainly does make for great story fodder. I’ve picked up on a few during my train trips to London. Fascinating stuff. But I need to remember to write the ideas down otherwise they’re gone forever it seems! Sorry to take so long to reply to your reply, ha! Really chasing my tail at the moment…but you know I’ll always keep in touch as much as I can! I hope you get to hear an interesting conversation again soon! xx

  7. Val avatar
    Val

    I usually get to hear these one-sided conversations when I’m sitting in the car with the window open (in the passenger seat as I don’t drive) – someone sitting in a nearby car yelling into their mobile as if they’re the only person in the world. Couldn’t tell you what they’re talking about though as, after a while, my ears sort of detune themselves for their own survival!
    Your little dog is lovely. Corgi?

    1. Hugh's Views and News avatar

      Yes, Toby is a Cardigan Welsh Corgi. Cousin to the Pembrokeshire Corgi which is the Corgi most people seem to recognise.
      He’s very much at home now we are back home in South Wales.

  8. olganm avatar

    I love it when people have what are meant to be private conversations as if the fact that being on a phone made them invisible and inaudible to others around them. I hope you have a lovely and quiet weekend. :)

    1. Hugh's Views and News avatar

      Thanks, Olga. You too. Can’t believe it’s a week since the book fair. Where does the time go?

  9. Marje @ Kyrosmagica avatar

    Ha Ha!! Those overheard one sided conversations! Glad you escaped …. !

  10. tlryder avatar

    I have occasionally overheard, quite against my will, half of some very personal conversations. Some people seem to forget that they are in public when the phone is by their ear.

    1. Hugh's Views and News avatar

      They do, but these conversations can sometimes make listening in on, very interesting.

      1. tlryder avatar

        Some of those conversations definitely make good fodder for fiction writers. :)

        1. Hugh's Views and News avatar

          I agree. I’ve heard a few that would make a great Horror story. 👹

  11. neelwritesblog avatar

    Oh! What a laugh.

    1. Hugh's Views and News avatar

      It was like watching a comedy sketch. The whole place could hear what was going on.

  12. Julz.......artist, blogger, photographer, graphic designer avatar

    the walk sounds good, the coffee part not so much. Mobile phones seem to a bane of our modern day existence. Personally I can live without it most of the time, by why do some people insist on sharing their conversation with everyone else at the top of their voice, it’s infuriating.

    1. Hugh's Views and News avatar

      It is, Julz, and although I take my mobile phone with me when going out, I always put in on silent when sitting down to a meal or refreshments and, if I have to take a call, I’ll walk away to somewhere a little quieter where I can not be overheard. Many people seem to almost shout down their phone, probably thinking the other person can not hear them if the signal is not very good.

      1. Julz.......artist, blogger, photographer, graphic designer avatar

        It’s just plain rude….or am I a grumpy old lady lol

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