What makes you put your head in your hands or shake your head regarding blogging?

Recently, I’ve been shaking my head a lot when visiting the blogging world.

Some of my fellow bloggers worry me, and I’m concerned about their mental health.

I’m witnessing bloggers panicking, stressed, feeling guilty, or apologising because of how they blog.

Banner for the blog post 'Is Blogging Causing You Stress Or Making You Feel Guilty? How To Fix It'
Are you showing signs of stress because of blogging?

Here are some of the bloggers I am referring to. Are you one of them?

The Sprinters

Have you heard this quote?

Blogging is a marathon, not a sprint!

It’s a quote many bloggers acknowledge.

Sprinters rush around the blogging world every day as if they’re on a time challenge where they must read and leave comments on as many blog posts as possible within a certain amount of time.

The comments they leave are seldom engaging and are often empty. Instead of leaving a comment saying why they thought a post was great or why they liked a photo or reading a piece of fiction, they’ll leave a comment like, ‘Great story’ or ‘I enjoyed this.’

They don’t have time to leave engaging comments, so leave comments that’ll not make you want to engage with them other than maybe to say ‘Thanks.’

If they fail to leave comments on all the blogs they’re following, they believe they may upset someone. They need to prove they’ve visited your post, often by leaving an empty comment.

They often show signs of stress or pressure in the content they publish and the comments they leave.

They won’t read long-engaging posts because that wastes time and worsens their stress. They’re on a mission to read as many posts as possible in the time they have so they don’t upset anyone.

Why read a couple of interesting, engaging, long posts when you can read lots of short blog posts in the time it takes to read one fascinating post over 1,000 words that gets you and lots of other readers wanting to get into a discussion?

When I saw the above tweet from James, I punched the air with my fist. He makes a valid point. And it doesn’t only apply to new bloggers.

Blogging should never be about sprinting under pressure around the blogging world to see how many blog posts you can read and comment on in 20 minutes!

Those posts will still be there next week.

There is no such thing as being behind in blogging. Read, respond and leave comments when you have the time to do so.

Hugh W. Roberts

Ask yourself why you started blogging. Was it for enjoyment and fun? Or did you come to the blogging world on a mission to try and break the world record every day for the number of blog posts you can read and comment on so you don’t feel guilty or upset anyone?

Is rushing around the blogging world, feeling stressed out while leaving the same non-engaging short comments, fun?

Slow down, and engage with bloggers rather than trying to prove the point that you have visited their posts.

If you don’t have the time to read and leave comments, make time by reading less blogs.

Hugh W. Roberts

This brings me to…

The obliging blogger

In the next paragraph, I’ll ask you a question. Leave your answer in the comments section before reading the rest of this post.

Question: If a blogger reads and leaves comments on all your blog posts, should you feel obliged to read and leave comments on all their posts?

You won’t be surprised that my answer to that question is ‘No.’

But if you answered ‘Yes’, share your reasons in the comments section.

Nobody should feel obliged to read and comment on another blogger’s posts because they read and leave comments on all their blog posts.

Your time is precious, and wasting it by forcing yourself to read and comment on content that does not interest you is a waste of your time.

“But won’t the blogger who reads and comments on all my posts stop reading and commenting on my blog posts if I don’t return the favour?’

Yes, they may, but does it matter? And if they do, ask yourself this question.

‘Why am I following that blogger?’

If it’s because you genuinely enjoy reading their content, then, by all means, continue to follow them, but don’t feel obliged to read and leave comments on all their posts.

If a blogger gets upset with you for not reading and leaving comments on all their posts, consider unfollowing them.

Allocate the time you spent reading their blogs to the blogs you enjoy reading, and leave valuable, engaging comments on those posts rather than short, empty, non-engaging comments.

Tip: Make the first comment count and show that you genuinely want to engage.

Don’t get too upset if the blogger you’re trying to engage with doesn’t want to engage with you when they respond to your comment with nothing but a ‘Thank you.’

That’s your cue to think twice before engaging with them again.

If you don’t want to engage with a blogger after reading a post, press the like button and move on. After all, that’s why it’s there.

There is nothing wrong with not leaving a comment after reading a blog post if you’ve nothing of value to add. Stop acting like it’s a crime not to leave one.

Hugh W. Roberts

Don’t be tricked into feeling guilty if you don’t always leave a comment. I read many blog posts where I do not click the ‘like’ button or leave comments. Why? Because I have nothing of value to add.

Likewise, never feel obliged to follow a blogger who has followed your blog. There’s no harm in visiting their blog to check out their content. If you like it, by all means, follow back, but don’t follow them simply because they followed you.

The desperate blogger

This blogger comes in two forms.

The first are bloggers you’ve never received comments from, and suddenly they’ll leave a comment and link on one of your posts that begs you (and your readers) to check out their blog, read their posts and leave comments.

I’ve received lots of these types of comments recently.

Their comment won’t mention anything about the contents of the posts they’ve left their comment on, just a few words of desperation and a link to their blog.

You’ll see them leaving the same comment on other blogs. I never approve these comments, so you’ll never see them in the comments section of any of my blog posts.

These types of comments are often left by new bloggers looking for new followers and readers.

If you’re new to blogging, there are much better ways to gain followers and new readers than to leave uninvited links on other blogs. These posts list some tips that will help you gain new followers and readers.

New To Blogging? These Free Tips On Leaving Comments Will Help Bring New Visitors To Your Blog

Are You Struggling To Get People To Your Blog? These 7 Free Methods Will Help

The other type of desperate blogger is someone who has previously left some engaging comments but unexpectedly starts dropping links to their posts that have nothing to do with the content of your post, asking you to read and comment.

I’ve said this many times before. Other blogs are not places for you to leave links unless the host has invited you to leave them. For example, in my Wordless Wednesday posts, I invite bloggers to leave links to their Wordless Wednesday posts.

If you have a post you’d like to share with a blogger in the comments section because it’s connected to their post, ask for permission to leave the link first.

Many bloggers class uninvited links as spam and move comments that include them to the spam folder or bin.

How do you deal with uninvited links left in the comments section of your blog?

I edit them out before approving the comment by pressing the edit button.

Image highlighting the edit button on a comment on a WordPress blog
Click edit to edit out uninvited links from bloggers

Remember to save the changes and then approve the comment. Most bloggers leaving uninvited links soon get the message.

Let’s wrap it up

  • Never feel pressured to read and comment on too many blog posts when you don’t have the time.
  • Read and leave engaging comments on a few blog posts a day/week rather than try and read and leave empty, non-engaging comments on all the blog posts of those you follow.
  • Never feel obliged to follow a blog simply because they followed you.
  • Don’t force yourself or waste time reading blog posts that do not interest you. Instead, invest your time reading and engaging with bloggers who publish content that interests you.
  • It doesn’t matter if you don’t read a blog post today. It’ll still be there to read in a week or when you have more time.
  • Don’t feel guilty if you do not get around to reading all the blog posts you want to read and comment on.
  • If you have nothing of value to add in a comment, rather than leaving short, empty, non-engaging comments, click the ‘like’ button and move on.
  • Other blogs are not the place to leave uninvited links promoting your blog.
  • Edit out uninvited links before approving comments.
  • Remove any thoughts of thinking you’re behind with blogging and have to catch up. Read and comment on posts when you have the time to do so.

Are there any examples of blogging that have you holding your head in your hands, shaking your head or concerned for other bloggers? Please share them in the comments section.

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121 responses to “Is Blogging Causing You Stress Or Making You Feel Guilty? How To Fix It”

  1. Liesbet @ Roaming About avatar

    Hi Hugh, I’m back and have now read the rest of your post. Life got in the way in the middle of reading the post, imagine that! :)

    This post is extremely well written and touches on many issues we all seem to have at least once in a while. I nodded my head often.

    When I don’t have time to leave a comment or don’t have anything valuable to add, yet, I enjoyed reading a post, that’s when I click the “like” button. It shows the bloggers that I read their post, if they even keep an eye on their likes. But, it also makes me feel better as I don’t want to ignore a post that I enjoyed.

    I don’t moderate all comments, because I haven’t had the experience of a nice commenter turning into a troll. I only moderate the first comment a new reader leaves. I also have no problems (yet) with readers leaving empty comments or unrelated links to their blog. I think that’s because my blog is long not as popular and well-visited as yours. :-)

    1. Hugh W. Roberts avatar

      Hi Liesbet, thank you for returning to this post. Good to hear that you were nodding your head often while reading it.

      That’s precisely what the ‘like’ button is for, yet many bloggers seem to think they must do more to prove they’ve visited and go on to leave non-engaging comments that don’t benefit anyone.

      I hope those link droppers never visit your blog. Believe me when I say you’re better off not encountering them. They can sometimes make one feel very frustrated, which, of course, should not be allowed to happen.

      Thank you for adding your voice to the discussion.

  2. Terri Webster Schrandt avatar

    So many things I could add to this but most have been said, Hugh. I used to feel obligated to read every post but some folks post daily! I might be retired but I don’t have that kind of time. I get a few bloggers who link and run and don’t bother to even leave a comment for Sunday Stills. Possibly they don’t know the rules but one look at their blog site and there are few followers. Not sure why they are blogging at all. I used to be a big fan of the link parties and still do a couple but commenting and then sharing became a struggle since many I had already read before it got into the link-up. There is some etiquette to blogging. The ones that don’t follow that end up deleting their sites eventually. Always great info you share!

    1. Hugh W. Roberts avatar

      Those bloggers leaving a link and running miss out on so much, Terri. But that’s probably why you find their blogs in the condition they are. Unfortunately, I think it’s more of a numbers game for them. And number seekers generally don’t last long in the blogging world.

      In my eyes, leaving a link and running is like leaving an uninvited link with no mention of any of the content of the post they’re leaving it on.

      Thank you for adding your voice to this discussion.

  3. Michelle (Boomer Eco Crusader) avatar

    When I started blogging, I felt like I had to read and leave comments on every blog post of every blogger I followed. I don’t do that any more. Now, I just leave comments if I feel I have something useful to say. I also skip reading posts if the subject matter doesn’t interest me.

    1. Hugh W. Roberts avatar

      Sounds like you have it all wrapped up nicely, Michelle. Keep on with the enjoyment that blogging brings.

  4. JT Twissel avatar

    Oh dear, yes all of the above. I’ve given up trying to follow/comment everyone – especially as there are so many people who launch their blogs prematurely. It’s very irritating trying to reciprocate someone’s visit and find a site under construction!

    1. Hugh W. Roberts avatar

      That’s a good sign that you’ve given up trying to follow and leave comments on all the blogs you follow, but you need to eliminate any guilt you feel for doing so. Remember that blogging should be an enjoyable experience, not one that makes you feel guilty, stressed or obliged to read stuff that does not interest you.

  5. Erika avatar

    It took me a while but if you want to survive you cannot help it but cut down your blogging time without feeling guilty. The funny thing is that we grant it to others but not to ourselves. I am always grinning when someone apologizes that they did not reply earlier… I stopped telling them, it doesn’t matter… lol

    1. Hugh W. Roberts avatar

      ‘Sorry I’m late…” “Apologies this is late…’ “Sorry I haven’t posted in a while…’ – when I see any post or comment that starts with an apology, I cringe, Erika. It’s like they believe they have a big audience waiting for the post or a reply, and if they don’t reply straight away or publish on time, they’re going to upset many people.

      Sadly, I see bloggers who have been blogging for many years apologising for being ill or dealing with an emergency. Some things are far more important to deal with than having to publish a blog post or read and comment on blogs. Apologies are not needed.

      1. Erika avatar

        Yes, you nailed it, Hugh. I like to inform when I take a break but I would never ever apoligize. No once can judge what is going on in another person’s life and it is non of their business anysway. As you said, some take themselves just too serious.
        I just scheduled a post with some background information about my life. Our discussion came to my mind while writing it. I thought, shall I do it? I mean, there are some fellow bloggers who share each unintersting chit-chat and this is not what I want to do. But I felt like my followers shall see a bit of the current person behind the blog and so, I scheduled it… hehe.

        1. Hugh W. Roberts avatar

          Good for you, Erika.

          I did hesitate a few times before publishing this post. It was supposed to go out on Monday, then on Tuesday, but I caved in, believing it may upset a few bloggers. Then I turned the whole thing around and saw that the post would help many bloggers, so it got published yesterday. I need to abide by my own lessons.

          I look forward to reading your post.

          1. Erika avatar

            I know exactly what you mean and maybe it has offended some. But to be honest, you also strike a chord in many and probably help them to stop feeling guilty when they are not stressing themselves out to keep up with social media. I am glad you saw it that way too and published the post.
            I could not resist to touch on something in my post too that I cannot escape from when being on social media and following other bloggers. The only consequence is to unfollow them…

            1. Hugh W. Roberts avatar

              I’m looking forward to reading what you have to say, Erika. Bloggers will avoid talking about some subjects because they see them as taboo. They think it’ll end up losing them followers and readers if they say what is on their mind. But I enjoy writing about blogging as I see it, although I don’t mind anyone challenging my way of looking at things providing it’s done professionally and not in a nasty way.

            2. Erika avatar

              That is the important difference. Interactions and discussions are part of blogging and that is what opens the horizon a bit more again. So, yes, sometimes I hesitated publishing something but those were one of those posts where I got the most feedbacks and surprisingly only in positive ways.
              So, keep it up, Hugh. What you post is the reason I am following you 😊

  6. Janis @ RetirementallyChallenged.com avatar

    The struggle is real :) I follow way too many blogs but I am feeling less and less guilty about not reading every post, and not commenting each time.

    I have a few followers who comment fairly regularly that I don’t follow back (although I ALWAYS respond to their comments): some have blog topics that don’t resonate with me, some post too many times a week (this is a biggie… more than twice a week and you better write fascinating posts), some are poorly written, some only seem to write to challenges (this can get really boring). I feel bad about not following them but each time I look at their blogs again, I’m still to inspired to subscribe.

    There are also a few blogs that I follow and regularly comment on that either don’t follow me or don’t comment. Some, especially special-interest blogs that have tons of followers, I don’t mind at all… I’m perfectly happy following without a re-follow. I do admit, though that there are a few bloggers that I’d love to have follow me too but I can’t make them so I content myself with following them and continue to write the kind of posts I want and hope, at some point, they might think so too.

    Lately, I have had a rash of new “followers” that make no sense at all. I don’t even have to check out their blog before deciding not to follow back… their blog title or gravatar tells me enough.

    Oh, and a pox on those who “comment” by asking me to follow them. NOPE… my magic wand quickly turns them into spam.

    1. Hugh W. Roberts avatar

      Your last line about your magic wand made me laugh, Janis.

      Good to hear you are feeling less and less guilty about not reading or always leaving a comment, but try and get rid of that guilt altogether. Most bloggers won’t mind if you don’t read and comment on all their posts.

      Don’t feel bad about not following those blogs that do not inspire or interest you to follow. So many bloggers waste vast amounts of time thinking they must oblige and read and comment on content they are not interested in. It’s such a waste time.

      Likewise, I follow and leave comments on lots of blogs that do not follow me. And I don’t expect them to follow my blog if my content does not interest them.

      Thank you for adding your voice to the discussion.

  7. petespringerauthor avatar
    petespringerauthor

    Quality over quantity has always been my motto. We all get super busy sometimes, and many feel guilty about not blogging. Except for a tiny minority, this isn’t meant to pay the bills. It’s a hobby, and aren’t hobbies intended to be fun? For me, this has always been about connecting with people from around the globe. If it ever starts to feel like a job, I’ll find other things to fill my day.

    1. Hugh W. Roberts avatar

      Yes, hobbies should always be about fun and enjoyment, Pete. Yet I witness so many bloggers apologising for being late in responding, not publishing a post on time, not publishing in a while, or not reading and commenting on other posts. When a blog post or comment starts with the words ‘I’m sorry…’ or ‘apologies’, I cringe. It’s a big sign that the enjoyment and fun are already leaking away or missing.

      1. petespringerauthor avatar
        petespringerauthor

        I agree 100%.

        1. petespringerauthor avatar
          petespringerauthor

          I remembered this excellent post but had to look back to see if I had commented before. Since my last comment from five months ago, I’ve shifted from reading tons of blogs daily and leaving meaningful, thoughtful comments to perusing. If I find the post fascinating, then I’ll comment. I wasn’t enjoying it as much as I was in the early days, and I wanted to finish the couple of novels I’d been working on. I also went from writing my own posts once a week to once a month. It’s helped make blogging fun again.

          1. Hugh W. Roberts avatar

            Pete, I’m so pleased to hear how you have changed your blogging habits and that it’s helped a lot.

            I still see evidence of people thinking they must read as many posts as possible and leaving short valueless comments to confirm they have visited. Of course, those brief, pointless comments do not guarantee they read the post.

            A big thumbs up from me for leaving meaningful, thoughtful comments. That’s what the majority of bloggers like.

  8. Liesbet @ Roaming About avatar

    My answer to your question, before reading the rest of this post (and I know your answer to this as well :), is “No, but it’s the nice thing to do – if you have time.” :)

    1. Hugh W. Roberts avatar

      Thanks for answering my question, Lisbet.

      Nice? Yes, it can seem a nice thing to do, but from my experience (and many other bloggers), it can lead to the slippery slope of bloggers’ burnout.

  9. Nortina S. avatar

    Not leaving comments on every blog post I visited used to stress me out, especially when I would participate in various blog hops. I felt pressured to leave a comment on every post I visited in order to justify my own participation. For some hops, that was part of the rules (leave a comment or your own link would be removed). But I hate leaving “Cool post” comments, so if I have nothing to add, I just “Like” the post to show I was there and I still enjoyed it. But I definitely had to give up on some of those blogs that are a bit more obsessive with visitor comments, even ones that are unengaging, because I value my mental sanity. Lol. Great post as always! 😃

    1. Hugh W. Roberts avatar

      Blog hops can often stress bloggers out, especially when told by the host that they must leave comments on all the other participants’ posts; otherwise, they face being thrown out of the hop. However, I’m pleased to see that many hosts now only require participants to comment on a couple of other participants’ posts. However, I won’t leave any comments if I don’t find any of the posts interesting.

      And that’s exactly what the ‘like’ button is for if you’ve nothing of value to add in a comment.

      I’m pleased that you no longer feel pressured to always leave comments on all the posts you read, Nortina.

  10. davydwriter avatar

    I think part of the issue for new bloggers, Hugh, is the mountain of advice from people purporting to be blogging experts. There is also the problem of the protocols of social media around algorithms. These tend to fire people into some sort of following and commenting frenzy.

    I’ve found the WordPress community to be a bit of an oasis from this, and a pleasure to be part of. One of my nan’s favourite sayings was, ‘If you got nothing interesting to say, then say nowt.’

    Informative and thought-provoking post.

    1. Hugh W. Roberts avatar

      Your nan’s quote certainly makes good sense, Davy. I agree with it.

      I agree there is a lot of blogging advice out there, much of it conflicting, but much of what I have picked up over the years I have been blogging has been of big help. Without it, I’d have abandoned my blog many years ago. I don’t agree with all of it, but finding that first blogging tips post was like finding a piece of gold. And, of course, what works for me, may not work for somebody else.

      Thank you for joining the discussion.

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