What To Do With New Year’s Resolutions

Why do so many of us make New Year’s resolutions? Do they help? Are they frustrating? Do they bring hope? Do they create pressure? Do they cause us stress? Do they actually work? Do they give us something to look forward to?

The only resolution I made on New Year’s Day (which worked for me) was the one I made on January 1st, 1994. It was the day I decided to stop adding sugar to my tea and coffee. I’m still ‘sugar-free’ when drinking tea and coffee. Success!

If you’ve made any New Year’s resolutions, good luck with them. If, like me, you haven’t, grab the nearest calendar for 2025 and count how many days it shows. Why am I asking you to count the days on a calendar? There’s a valid reason for this.

Did you count 365 days? Yes? If you counted 366, then you’re looking at last year’s calendar. Ditch it. Now look at all those days 2025 has to offer.

Each of those days marks a new beginning. Every day offers a chance to start something new. Each day brings opportunities that come knocking. Every day provides a chance to set a resolution if you choose to. Each day allows you to utilise your time effectively. Every day presents an opportunity to make someone smile. Each day gives you a chance to do something good for another person. Every day is a day you can put to good use. Don’t waste them.

What am I getting at?

In simple terms, you can initiate a resolution on any day of the year. I’ve had more success with resolutions I began on days other than New Year’s Day. This makes a lot of sense when considering 364 days compared to one. And isn’t each new day the start of a new year in your life?

Thank you.

Each new year, I reflect and express my gratitude to those who have shaped my life over the past 12 months. This includes not only the people I have met but also those I’ve never encountered, yet who have influenced my life in some way.

As a blogger, I refer to those who visited my blog, engaged with the discussions on my posts, and interacted with the photos I shared.

If you’re not a blogger, the people you interact with on social media may have influenced your life in some way. Consider this: you don’t need to hear spoken words from someone for them to impact your life. Likewise, you don’t have to meet someone in person for them to affect your life.

If it weren’t for all of you out there, the last 12 months would have been a little quiet and emptier here on my blog. And I don’t believe that’s something any blogger wants for their blog.

So, a big thank you for all your support, kindness, and friendship, and for being a significant part of my 2024. You listened to me; you made me laugh. Some of you made me cry, but that’s the way I reacted to one of your posts. You astounded me; you made me think. You changed my life or encouraged me to try something new. You entertained me. You helped me through the low points and shared my happiness and joy during the high ones. You influenced me.

What was 2024 like for you?

2024 may have had its low points, but it will also have included some high points. Sometimes, it’s a simple case of coming out of the forest of lows and seeing the highs. Focus on the highs, not the lows.

One of the most significant opportunities for me was having three stories published in two anthologies, which I will discuss in an upcoming post.

In 2024, my blog also set a record for the number of views and visitors since its launch in 2014, and it did all of that even though I had reduced the number of posts I published. It proves that you don’t need to be pressured into publishing posts every day. Anyone who tells you that you must publish a blog post every day to become a successful blogger is not telling you the truth.

Engagement on my blog increased, despite a trend showing fewer people engaging in the blogging world focusing instead to engage on social media.

2024 may be gone, but it shouldn’t be forgotten. Why? Because like any day, week, month or year, it played a significant part of your life.

Thank you, 2024.

Thank you, 2024, for the opportunities you presented to me. You may think you did a good job at hiding them from me, but they were there when I looked hard enough!

Now, I’m looking forward to the opportunities 2025 will bring. Are you?

What to do with New Year’s Resolutions

Turn them into opportunities. Opportunities to make new friends, new acquaintances, and new experiences. Make people laugh every day, make people happy, teach people something new, and tell somebody something that will make their day. Don’t turn your resolutions into opportunities that become barriers or hurdles for you or anyone else or that make people unhappy. Be kind to people, even if you don’t agree with what they have to say.

Some cause happiness wherever they go; others whenever they go.

To live is the rarest thing in the world. Most people just exist.

We are all in the gutter. But some of us are looking at the stars.

Oscar Wilde
Light yellow image with stars and the words 'Cheers to 2024. Welcome 2025!
Happy New Year!

Do you make New Year’s resolutions? Have you experienced some exciting successes along the way? What incredible opportunities did 2024 offer you? I’d love to hear your thoughts—leave me a comment and let’s inspire each other in this discussion!

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When Was The Last Time You Gave A Standing Ovation And A Round Of Applause? #WordlessWednesday #Photography

Wordless Wednesday – No words, just pictures. Allow your photo(s) to tell the story.

Photo of an Elton John concert in Las Vegas with the audience standing and giving a round of applause.
Can you guess who the artist onstage is?

Not sure what Wordless Wednesday is or how to participate? Click here for full details.

Are you participating in Wordless Wednesday? Although I am not hosting this challenge, you can leave a link or pingback to your post in the comments section to help promote it to other bloggers.

To help those with eyesight-impaired vision, please remember to complete a description of your photo in the ‘alt-text’ and description boxes of the picture in the WordPress media library. For more details, check my post, Adding Images Or Photos To Your Blog Posts? 4 Essential Things To Do.’

If you want to know more about the photo featured on this post, ask me in the comments section.

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True Stories: Gay Memories – The Day My Life Changed #LGBTQI #LGBT

When I woke up that Saturday morning, little did I know that something I was hiding from view from others was about to have the key put in the ignition and set me off on a journey that was to become the life I was born with.

True Stories: Gay Memories

It was a Saturday morning like any other Saturday morning. I always got up first because I’m an early bird.

After breakfast, I’d sit down and watch Multi-Coloured Swap Shop – a children’s TV show on Saturday morning.

The theme to the TV show Swap Shop

The fact that I was 17 years old didn’t put me off from watching it. I loved watching it. It got my weekend off to a perfect start.

Just after midday, I always went into town to buy an array of snacks for myself for the evening. I still preferred to spend Saturday evenings indoors watching television like I did on Saturday mornings.

My parents thought it unusual for a boy my age to want to stay in on a Saturday evening. At the time, I thought they knew nothing about why I did not want to go out. Years later, I discovered my mother had already suspected I was gay.

Whereas boys my age were going out to drink alcohol and date girls, my Saturday evening treat was the snacks (including a small trifle from Marks & Spencer) and Saturday evening television.

I always visited the same shops to browse or buy something. On this particular Saturday, though, something I’d seen on TV that morning made me go into a shop I hardly ever visited.

Scanning the shelves full of newspapers and magazines for the music newspaper I wanted, it soon caught my eye.

On the front was a picture of the singing duo Chas and Dave. I didn’t particularly like their music, but I found both men sexually attractive.

Picking up the newspaper, I flicked through it, pretending not to notice the picture and taking little, if any, notice of who was around me.

Towards the back of the newspaper, I stumbled upon the advertisement section, and one of the adverts immediately got my attention.

It was a significant point in my life that opened a door and invited me to step through.

I didn’t personally know any other gay people, yet here was an advert in a music newspaper about a world I belonged to yet knew little of.

Gay?
Then you should read Gay News.
Once fortnightly.
For a copy, send a postal order for (I can’t remember how much) to –

At that moment, a member of staff entered the shop and shouted over to the cashier –

“I see the library is open again, Karen.”

She was referring to me and a few other customers who were all flicking through various newspapers and magazines. I quickly closed the paper to see if anybody noticed me reading the advert.

At that point, I wanted to put down the paper and rush out of the shop, but the chance of being in touch with other gay people stopped me from doing so.

I told myself to be brave, quickly walked over to Karen, and nervously placed the newspaper by the cash register. “Got everything you need today?” she asked me as she pushed the keys on the cash register.

Nodding my head, I could feel myself blushing. I thought she knew which advert I’d been reading and was about to stand up and announce, ‘This one’s queer!” Of course, that never happened.

As I walked home, my heartbeat raced. I kept looking behind to check if anyone was following me. After all, unlike my straight friends, it was still illegal for me (as a gay man) to have sex with a same-sex partner until I was 21.

Precisely one week later, I waited patiently for the postman to arrive. When my first copy of Gay News came through the letterbox, I rushed downstairs before anybody else got to the post.

I was relieved that the people at Gay News did as they had promised to do in their advertisement. My copy of the paper arrived in a plain brown envelope.

My hands shook as I took the envelope up to my bedroom. Carefully tearing it open, I allowed the life I’d been hiding to start coming out of the closet.

Have you ever had a life-changing moment? Contact me if you’d like to share the details in a guest post.

Did you enjoy reading this post? Then you may also enjoy my new series. Click the link below to be taken to the first post.

True Stories: Confessions Of A Gay Man – Boyfriends

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True Stories: Gay Memories – Gay London During The 1980s #LGBTQI #LGBT #PrideMonth

“They all have moustaches, wear 501s and are called Clones.”

Those were my words to my best friend, Neville, upon my first visit to Earl’s Court, London, back in the mid-1980s.

I was like a kid in a sweet shop. Just about every man in the place had a moustache, and I was big into facial hair.

Gay life in London during the 1980s

Back then, there were five gay bars in Earl’s Court. It was the centre of the universe for any gay man visiting London.

It was easy to get to Earl’s Court, via public transport, and I always felt safe there. It was as if the district had a safety bubble around it.

No surprise then that I moved into a two-bedroom flat in Earl’s Court shortly after arriving to live in London in 1986.

The most famous gay bar in Earl’s Court was called ‘The Coleherne.’ These days, it’s a trendy restaurant come wine bar which I believe serves some smashing food.

The Coleherne – now known as The Pembroke

I spent lots of time in ‘The Coleherne.’ At the time, pubs had to close their doors between 3 and 5:30pm (2 and 7pm on a Sunday). ‘The Coleherne’ was always packed out during the final hour of drinking time.

It had a jukebox in the corner that played all the latest hits as well as many ‘Hi-NRG’ (Pronounced High Energy) tunes which was a new type of music adopted by many gay men.

Evelyn Thomas – Singing some Hi-NRG music

Neville was into the same types of men who drunk in “The Coleherne’ as me. So you’d often find us in there.

There was a strict rule about going into ‘The Coleherne.’ Those wearing leather, such as a bikers’ jacket, waistcoat, or chaps, had their own side-door entrance.

Everybody else had to use the other door on the main street. If you went through what Neville and I called ‘the leather door’ you’d end up on the leather side of the bar.

The leather guys would glare at you if your attire included no leather, and they would continue to glare at you until you made your way to the non-leather side of the bar.

Scary stuff for first-time visitors or anybody who entered the pub by mistake.

What made Neville and me laugh was that some of the leather guys often arrived carrying a motorcycle helmet under their arm. You may ask, ‘what’s so funny about that?’

Well, they’d place the motorcycle helmet on the top shelf above the bar, order their drink, and then stand around looking as butch as possible.

Then, at closing time, Neville and I would watch as they made their way to the bus-stop, with motorcycle helmets under their arms. For some, carrying a motorcycle helmet seemed to be the must-have, new fashion accessory when dressed in leather.

Although ‘The Coleherne’ was probably the most shabby of all the five gay bars in Earl’s Court, it was always busy.

Just down the road, at one end of the street, was ‘The Boltons.’ This was a strict ‘no-no’ bar for Neville and I because it was known for its rent boys.

At the other end of the street was ‘Bromptons’ bar. This was the place Neville and me nicknamed ‘Clone City’ because just about every man who entered had facial hair.

‘Bromptons’ opened at 10pm and closed at 2am. On a Sunday, it opened earlier but closed at midnight. It was a 30-second walk from where I lived, so it was very convenient.

Friendlier than ‘The Coleherne,’ for those who’d never visited before, ‘Bromptons’ had a small dance floor and a kiosk that sold all the latest Hi-NRG 12-inch vinyl singles.

In those days, gay men only purchased 12-inch vinyl singles, unlike most of the rest of the population that bought the 7-inch vinyl version.

A gay anthem from the 1980s

There was the odd splattering of leather amongst the crowd, but most were dressed in check shirts, 501 Jeans and Doc-Marten boots.

Just about everyone ordered and drunk bottles of lager, rather than pints. If you arrived early, you could compare your check shirts and see if any of them clashed severely with the chequered carpet and wallpaper of the bar.

Arriving early also meant free entry into the bar. After 11pm there was a small entry fee charged, so many would flock in at 22:55.

The Barmen at ‘Bromptons’ were often hand-picked by the owner. “Have good looking bar staff, and you’ll pack the place out every night,” he once told me. And he was right!

Gay London barman of the 1980s.

The place was a magnet for clones who seemed to need little sleep despite having full-time jobs, many of which required an early morning start.

The other two bars at the opposite end of Earl’s Court were located next door to each other.

One was a bar called ‘Harpoon Louis,’ which hosted cabaret most nights.

The likes of Lily Savage (aka Paul O’Grady) started out here, and it was always a great place to go for a laugh.

‘Cruising’, as Gay men called it (better known as looking for a partner for the night), did go on. In contrast, in the other bars, cruising was very serious, and you dare not laugh when trying to pick up your date for the night. In ‘Harpoon Louis,’ it didn’t seem to matter as much.

‘Copacabana’ was next door to Harpoon Louis and was the main gay nightclub of the area. It was convenient to fall into when coming out of ‘Harpoon Louis.’

‘Copacabana’ (also known as ‘Copa’s’) was the biggest of all the bars in Earl’s Court and had a large dance floor. It was the place to hear the latest Hi-NRG tunes, dance, drink and check out the men.

Some famous faces often frequented the place, but being ‘gay men,’ the clientele often dare not approach them.

During the 1980s, gay men adopted a ‘hanky’ code. You’d place a particular coloured handkerchief in either the left or right back pocket of your 501 jeans. This told other gay men what kind of sexual fun you were into.

Rather than the ‘hanky’ code, Neville and I adopted the ‘teddy bear’ code. This involved the placing of a small teddy bear in the back pocket. This told others if you enjoyed giving or receiving cuddles.

Today, Earl’s Court is no longer the centre of the universe for gay men. Its crown was lost to Soho and Vauxhall during the late 1990s, although the gay scene in London now seems to be more spread out.

Image credit: Geoff Le Pard

Had we arrived for the first time today, Neville and I would not have liked Earls Court as much. However, it holds lots of happy memories not just for us, but for many from the LGBT crowd.

Sadly, Neville passed away in the mid-1990s. However, the fun and laughter we shared together during the days and nights of Earl’s Court in the 1980s can still be heard in its bars and streets.


This post was originally written and published as a guest post in April 2016 on TanGental. It has been updated for this version.

Click here to read another post from my Pride Month series which tells the story of a first date that went horribly wrong.

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