“Oh, my goodness, what are you doing?”
“Well, you did say you wanted me to help get the fluff out.”
“Yes, but not with a screwdriver. Is there anything else you can use?”
“No. Nothing to hand. Now, do you want me to remove the fluff from your belly button?”
“Yes, but I’m sure I can hear something creaking.”
“Oh, don’t worry about that. Right, here we go. Ready? A slight twist, and it should be out.”
“Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!”
“Oh, I’m so sorry. I never expected that to happen. Allow me to pick up your bum and screw it back on.”
***
The moral of the story – never insert a screwdriver into your belly button and twist because your bum will fall off!
Written in response to Charli Mills 99 word flash fiction challenge with the theme of Navel.
© 2017 Copyright-All rights reserved-hughsviewsandnews.com.
Hugh's Views & News 
Thanks for the warning, Hugh. But if you can’t use a screwdriver how DO you get rid of belly button fluff? the answer in next week’s flash, perhaps?
I was going to say a power jet wash (like the ones they use at the car wash), but the safest way is by having a shower or bath. 😀 I’ll see if I can work any of those into the next story that Charli challenges us to write.
Thanks for reading my little bit of humour, Anne.
Shower or bath, must try that sometime, thanks for the tip. 😉
How odd. Funny one!
Thanks so much, Lisa. Based on a true story. 😀
HAHA! Hilarious, Hugh! 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
Thanks, Judy. Glad you enjoyed my little bit of silly humour. 😀
Oh, I did, Hugh! 🙂
Hilarious, Hugh!
Glad it made you laugh, Norah. I took this story from my childhood. It was my dad that told me what would happen if I inserted a screwdriver in my bellybutton after he found me attempting to do it! Thank goodness he caught me in time.
It would have been dreadful to have your bum drop off! 🙂
I agree, and it begs lots of questions. But those are for another post. 😀
Lmaoooooooooooooooooo 🙂 xx
I hope you can put it back on. 😀
xx
🙂 🙂 You’re killing me! 🙂 xx
I do believe that is the correct sequence of events 🙂
Ah, so it sounds like you may have also tried it? 😀
;), now that would be telling, and a Lady never tells!
My goodness Hugh, your stories do make me laugh! 🙂
That’s great to hear, Marje. Keep on laughing. 😀
When I read ‘fluff’ I thought belly button. But then told myself, ‘No, that’s just not right.’ Hahaha!
Looks like my work is done then, Molly. 😀
Thanks for the morning giggle. I needed that. 🙂
You’re welcome. I’m glad it made you laugh. 😀
Ha ha, Hugh! Reminds me of that animated movie Robots.
Thanks, Robbie. That’s a movie I’ve not seen…yet.
Hugh,
I want to know if you turn the screw counter-clock-wise, is this when your bumm (butt in USA) falls off? If you turned the screw clock-wise would it tighten it? My butt is sagging right now and it needs to be tightened. All help is appreciated.
With all the crazy health & safety rules in circulation, I can’t possibly comment, Chuck. Although you may like to try clenching your buttocks in time with the noise tomato juice makes when it comes out of a carton. It’s helped me. 😀
I will keep that in mind Hugh 🙂
Cool. I thought I better warn everyone. 😀
If you have to have a screw loose, not that one! Thanks for the warning and the laugh!
Screw loose? Me? Many, Charli. 😀
OMG!!
Why are bums the first thing to fall off?
Because it’s a very long screw. 😀
How do you explain what happens when one LaughsMAO? See what I mean?
I do. Carry on Laughing. 🤣
ROTFLMAO 😀
Don’t stay down there too long. You need to have breakfast. 😀
Thanks Hugh. I needed that.
I was laughing over this all right. Great humour you captured here Hugh.
Good the hear. I’ve not written much comedy, so this is great feedback.
Too funny. 😀
Ouch!!! Lol!!!
LOL… I’m speechless — and not just because of my laryngitis!
Sorry to hear about your laryngitis, Teagan. Hope you get your voice back soon. At least you can still write, even if you can’t talk.
Very funny story and warning. That sign is interesting, especially since I am planning to spread my grandma’s ashes somewhere, after keeping some in a necklace. I won’t do it in a National Park!
That photo is from Charli’s website, so all credit to her, but yes, be careful.
I’ll remember this! Good tip Hugh!
See, I’m not just good for blogging tips. 😀
Haha. Indeed. General life skills tips too!
Don’t lose the screw!
True. Now, where did I put it? 🤔
Haha, warning heeded Hugh.
Phew! Think of all the bottoms I’ll be saving, Miriam. 😀
Absolutely! 😊