The Day I Almost Married Lara Croft

What? I almost married Lara Croft? OK, I don’t mean ‘the’ Lara Croft, do I, just somebody else with the same name as her?

Well, no, I mean the most famous Lara Croft there has ever been. She is a full- has the body most men desire and most women envy.time tomb raider and

Our relationship started in August 1997 when a friend loaned me a copy of “Tomb Raider” for the Sony PlayStation 1. I’d had the PlayStation for some months but was already bored until my friend introduced me to Lara Croft.

When I inserted the game disc into the PlayStation and pressed the play button, I fell in love with the only woman who would ever pull at my heartstrings.

I would spend countless evenings, nights, and weekends with Lara. It even got to the point that I would no longer go out on a Saturday night. Instead, I would spend the evening at home with Lara while my friends danced the night away, having fun, socialising, meeting new people, and enjoying each other’s company, while I only had eyes for Lara.

She’d take me to far-off places worldwide, Peru, Mongolia, Egypt, and India, to name a few. She’d protect me from killer bats, bears, lions and weird monsters I never knew existed. I followed her everywhere and ensured nothing horrible happened to her while on our travels.

I even remember that Saturday afternoon, I sat down with her at 5:15, and before we knew it, the clock told us it was 4.05 Sunday morning. But it didn’t matter then, as we were both in love and saw each other daily.

The day we got engaged was beautiful. By now, I knew I had met the perfect woman, and I was sure that Lara felt the same way about me. Why wouldn’t she? After all, I’d spend all my free time with her and tell my work colleagues about her. I know some of them envied me for having caught myself one of the most beautiful and sexiest women in the world, but others were happy for me and wanted to hear more about the adventures Lara and I were having.

I begged Lara to let me buy her an engagement ring, but she was having none of it. Well, not at that moment anyway, as she had dangerous work and would never forgive herself if she lost the ring while working. She promised me I could buy her an engagement ring just as soon as she had solved the mystery she was working on. But that day never came, and it wasn’t long after that when things started to go downhill, and our wedding day kept getting further and further away.

I’d gone everywhere with her on her first two adventures. While she worked at solving mysteries and puzzles, I earned the money that would pay for our wedding and first home together. We both knew that nothing could part us when she started her third adventure, but how wrong we would be. I’ll be honest and say that her experiences were getting too difficult for me. But that was because I’d started going out again, socialising, meeting friends, having a real laugh, enjoying the world around me, catching up on gossip, TV and the movies. Meanwhile, Lara continued her adventures without me, never wanting to accompany me.

“Most of your friends don’t like me”, she’d told me the day it all went pear-shaped, and I’d realised she was right. I also learned that Lara had put quite a big gap between my friends and me and that I was almost losing them and my life! Not only that, but she’d also put a strain on another relationship, the most important one, the one I’d had since 1993 and, to this day, is stronger than ever. Would my partner ever forgive me?

I finally ended my relationship with Lara and called off the wedding. I thought she’d be distraught, especially when I told her I was also selling my PlayStation. But she simply walked away with the man who had purchased the PlayStation from me, and I never heard from her again.

Do I have any regrets about what happened? No. I’m happy I found my life again and have never been tempted to contact Lara…Ever!

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109 responses to “The Day I Almost Married Lara Croft”

  1. FlorenceT avatar

    Well, John is one fortunate man… :)

    1. Hugh's Views and News avatar

      I shall pass that message on to him. Thank you, Florence. :)

  2. Ali Isaac avatar
    Ali Isaac

    Haha! Is this true? Very funny and very entertaining. Its amazing how something like that can take over your life. I never got into gaming, but reading can do that to me, and writing definitely does.

    1. Hugh's Views and News avatar

      Where Lara once stood, blogging now takes her place, Ali. :)

      1. Ali Isaac avatar
        Ali Isaac

        Absolutely, Hugh! I’m with you there! 😊

  3. vanbytheriver avatar

    So many have been taken down by her “assets”, Hugh. Don’t be too hard on yourself. And…any woman who has worked out (ever) does not envy that body…they know how hard it is to achieve ! ☺☺

    1. Hugh's Views and News avatar

      I’m right behind you with that statement, Van, although I don’t do the gym. I’d much rather lunch-time cocktails and an afternoon nap. :)

      1. vanbytheriver avatar

        A great plan…well done.

        Sorry about the bit of repetition…my first comment didn’t post…or at least I thought so. ☺

        1. Hugh's Views and News avatar

          No problem Van. WordPress and I have not recently been the best of friends because of what it does sometimes.

          1. vanbytheriver avatar

            I understand that one. So many “fixes” for that which was never really broken. sigh…

  4. joanfrankham avatar

    That’s women for you. Especially the ones who never seem to grow old like the rest of us!

    1. Hugh's Views and News avatar

      A bit like the people of Downton Abbey, Joan? Fifth series and twelve years on and none of them have aged!

  5. vanbytheriver avatar

    Some of the best men/boys I know have fallen, Hugh, don’t be too hard on yourself. 💕

    1. Hugh's Views and News avatar

      I think I’ve gotten over Lara now, Van. In the end it’s true love that wins out. :)

  6. C.E.Robinson avatar

    Clever, Hugh! Heard about those virtual PlayStation love traps…never got into gaming. Love the way you weaved your tale of woe with Lara! Chryssa

    1. Hugh's Views and News avatar

      Thanks Chryssa. I’m just very pleased that Miss Laura Croft never became Mrs Lara Roberts. I just wonder where I would have been now?

  7. edwinasepisodes avatar

    My husband had a bit of a fling with her as well! I was a bit mad as she always wore such skimpy outfits, and I thought she was a bit of a tart! Luckily, he wasn’t as dedicated to her as you were, and he went off with Drake from Uncharted instead. He finds him so much more exciting!! :-)

    1. Hugh's Views and News avatar

      Well I’m glad it wasn’t only me that she had in her grips on, Judy. I think she may have ended many a man’s (and woman’s) relationship.

      I’ve not heard of Drake. Does he play rugby? ;)

      1. edwinasepisodes avatar

        No, he is in the Uncharted game, which looks for treasure maps!

        1. Hugh's Views and News avatar

          I’ll be checking him out, Judy.

          1. edwinasepisodes avatar

            He’s the rough and ready type :-)

            1. Hugh's Views and News avatar

              I could very well be paying him a visit soon (now that you have told me that).

      2. Andy avatar
        Andy

        You should check out Drake. :;

        1. Hugh's Views and News avatar

          I intend to Andy, especially as you’ve told me to do so :)

  8. Sarina avatar

    Oh I understand. Although Lara was never lets say my total cup of tea. However since the game I fell in love with only ever had one “episode” once I’d played to the end a few times that was pretty much it- although if they ever made a second episode then well….

    1. Hugh's Views and News avatar

      I think she’s had five or six adventures since the first time I encountered her. However, her adventures got more and more difficult and there was no way I was going with her.

  9. Hugh's Views and News avatar

    Thank you very much for the reblog.

    I don’t think Lara and I will be getting married anytime soon.

    1. C.E. avatar

      Aww shame. Though it’d be hard to get Lara a wedding gift when she’s got everything! :)

      1. Hugh's Views and News avatar

        I agree. What do you buy the woman who has everything?

  10. Vibrant avatar
    Vibrant

    A very interesting story. Thanks for sharing!

    Love and light <3

    Anand :)

    1. Hugh's Views and News avatar

      Thank you for reading and leaving a comment, Anand. Have a great day.
      Best wishes,
      Hugh

  11. dorne whale avatar

    She’ll never settle down Hugh. You made the right choice. Xx

    1. Hugh's Views and News avatar

      Thank goodness all you guys are agreeing that I did the right thing, Dorne. Now is my ironing finished yet? :)

      1. dorne whale avatar

        Would Lara Croft have ironed for you? 😆 xx

        1. Hugh's Views and News avatar

          Yes, she used to iron my socks for me :)

  12. stevetanham avatar

    Clever and subtle – nicely crafted. Thank you.

  13. Ritu avatar

    Oh she’s a fickle woman, that Lara!!! But you’re much better off in reality Hugh!!!

    1. Hugh's Views and News avatar

      Thank you for confirming I did the right thing, Ritu. If you see Lara don’t tell her about my blog. I couldn’t cope with her leaving me comments and asking me to marry her again.

      1. Ritu avatar

        Your secret is safe with me Hugh! 😉

  14. Eric Klingenberg avatar

    It would have never worked those er um would of had your eyes out.

    1. Hugh's Views and News avatar

      Ah, you mean those pistols she used to shot the killer bats, Eric? :)

      1. Eric Klingenberg avatar

        err yes that’s what I meant …..

  15. Marje @ Kyrosmagica avatar

    Sounds like you like a bit of excitement Hugh! Glad you found real life excitement and love that’s by far the best kind, Hugh. :)

    1. Hugh's Views and News avatar

      While it lasted I did, Marje. Just glad I came to my senses and saw what she was doing to me :) I’ve not seen her since. She’s probably on another adventure somewhere. :)

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