October 15, 2020, prompt: In 99 words (no more, no less), write a story about chores. It doesn’t have to be a western ranch chore; it can be any routine task. Go where the prompt leads!


Vacuuming – by Hugh W. Roberts

Having murdered his chore-loving wife, Herbert did the unthinkable and scattered her ashes throughout the house.

“That’ll teach you,’ Herbert chuckled. “Lived-in. Not a showhouse.”

On getting home from work the following day, the house was spotless. Unbeknown to Herbert, his wife had employed a domestic help to come in once a week.

That night, the sound of hoovering woke Herbert. Yet downstairs, the hoover was unplugged and stored under the stairs.

Questions: Had Herbert’s wife come back to haunt him? Was it time to buy a new vacuum cleaner? Or should he empty the cylinder of his wife?


Written for the 99-word flash fiction challenge hosted by Charli Mills at the Carrot Ranch. Click here to join in.

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37 responses to “Vacuuming #flashfiction”

  1. Norah avatar

    I think he should ditch the vacumm cleaner – and the hired cleaner – and stay with the lived-in look.

    1. Hugh W. Roberts avatar

      But I wonder if that will stop the spooky hovering noises that wake him up at night?

      1. Norah avatar

        You’ll have to ask him. :)

  2. Chel Owens avatar

    How awful, Hugh. I fully expected her to vacuum him up, though. :)

    1. Hugh W. Roberts avatar

      Now that would have been a terrific twist, Chel.

  3. Chores « Carrot Ranch Literary Community avatar

    […] Vacuuming by Hugh W. Roberts […]

  4. dgkaye avatar

    LOL, I’m with Terri. My Dyson won’t have me wondering what lurks beyond. :)

    1. Hugh W. Roberts avatar

      Until you empty the cylinder and wonder what it really is, that’s going into the bin. 😲

      1. dgkaye avatar

        Stop it! LOLLLLLLLLL :)

  5. D. Avery @shiftnshake avatar

    Huh. He goes to such lengths and the hoover still nags him- that sucks.

    1. Hugh W. Roberts avatar

      Nagging from beyond the grave.

  6. TanGental avatar

    Euck… you make the most mundane of tasks a terror… now I’m going to wonder who’s in the film of dust on the mantlepiece.

    1. Hugh W. Roberts avatar

      Good. My piece of flash has had it’s intended effect then, Geoff.

  7. Liesbet @ Roaming About avatar

    I love organizing things and storing everything in its designated spot (especially in our tiny camper), but I don’t like cleaning. Do you think I should ask Mark whether he has any plans murdering me? No vacuum in this house on wheels, though… I think Herbert’s house is now occupied with a ghost.

    1. Hugh W. Roberts avatar

      No, rather than ask that question, ask Mark if he’d like a handheld vacuum cleaner. His response could lead you down the route to answering that question without asking him it, Liesbet.

  8. JT Twissel avatar

    Oh yeah. Herbert’s hoover’s gonna vacuum up every moment of peace and quiet in his house. As far I know, priests aren’t allowed to do exorcisms on vacuum cleaners.

    1. Hugh W. Roberts avatar

      You could be right. So Herbert is stuck with his wife for the rest of his life.

  9. Terri Webster Schrandt avatar

    Good thing I have a Dyson, no hoovering for me, Lol! Great story, Hugh! A dusty, creepy tale 😆

    1. Hugh W. Roberts avatar

      I think the hover in Herbert’s house is a Dyson, Terri. It’s all to do with the word ‘cylinder’ in that last line.

  10. fictionspawn Aak avatar

    My guess is that Herbert is an old-fashioned guy, and his wife had, besides hiring a cleaner, bought one of those automatic robot vacuum cleaners without him knowing. No cable, no user needed and it’s programmed to clean at that hour. Did it stop too fast? Well, it needs a battery charge.

    1. Hugh W. Roberts avatar

      That’s a good answer. I never thought about a robotic vacuum cleaner doing the job. In any case, having scattered his wife’s ashes over the house, should Herbert now empty it?

      1. fictionspawn Aak avatar

        He seems to have quite some resentment towards her, so maybe he should just pour her out in the toilet to give her a worthy funeral… :D

  11. robertawrites235681907 avatar

    Interesting questions, Hugh. I’d go with emptying the bag, firstly.

    1. Hugh W. Roberts avatar

      Good answer, Robbie, but is she really inside the cylinder and, if so, did the hoover get all of her.

      1. robertawrites235681907 avatar

        Hmmm! That is a rather yucky thought, Hugh, but he did chuck her on the floor in the first place.

  12. willowdot21 avatar

    Your so good at these stories Hugh . The truth of the mystery is Herbert’s wife had also purchased an old cassette recorder just for these circumstances. Suspecting her days were numbered, she employed the home help for during the day for after the event of her death. The cassette she had on a timer and hidden in a cupboard Herbert never looked in. All she had to do was turn it off every night, after her death she knew the nightly phantom hoover noises that stop just before his alarm went off would drive him mad! 💜💜💜💜💜🕸️🕷️🕸️🕷️

    1. Hugh W. Roberts avatar

      Haha! I love how you solved the mystery, Willow. Although I do rather like the thought of a haunted vacuum cleaner.

      1. willowdot21 avatar

        Me too Hugh but my sensible side lead on this 💜🕸️🕷️

  13. Cathy avatar

    Haunted by the hoover…nice one, Hugh 😁

    1. Hugh W. Roberts avatar

      I hope I never own one, Cathy.
      Thank you.

  14. Jordan Hoggard avatar

    All those chunk pieces of ashes scattered around feel like a Mission Impossible laser locking system where she will forever be able to alert Him from Beyond when dust bunnies roll across.

    Excellent story. Love the displacement of his issue rather than thought-through resolution.

    1. Hugh W. Roberts avatar

      Thanks, Jordan. I don’t think Herbert will ever be able to forget the wife he killed. And I wonder if he’ll ever get a peaceful night’s sleep again? Even if he replaced the vacuum cleaner, bits of his wife would forever remain while he lives.

      1. Jordan Hoggard avatar

        Nodding. His Soul will always know regardless of however many internal vacuum cleaner bags he cycles through.

        1. Jordan Hoggard avatar

          Plus, no reason to BeHooveHer to leave him alone.

  15. Alison avatar

    Hmm ..hoovering won’t be quite the same now 😂

    1. Hugh W. Roberts avatar

      I’ll certainly check the carpets for signs of anything unusual first.

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