,

The Porthole

Everybody has a chance, but it does depend on where you are at the time it appears. I only say that because I am sure I have seen some of the faces here, before. Like, for example, your face.

Now, as we watch the young child take her chance to join us, I will do all I can to make sure she makes it in time, but I need your help too.

What I have created now looms in front of her. If this had been happening a few years ago, I would have had full control over how long the porthole on our spaceship would remain open. Now, however, my power over my creation seems to be weakening.

Even though I know life has been cruel to this child, you’re not so sure, are you?

From what I have witnessed, this child will be a credit to both of us. And, as our world is dying, we need all the souls we can get to build our army.

“Run, child, run,” I shout, as she nears the opening. But you remain silent. Why?

We need her to help save our world. Don’t you see that?

My heart drops when I see the porthole begin to close. I can hear my followers behind me screaming, yet you remain silent. I hope the child makes it through in time.

With a mighty leap, she makes it through before it closes.

“Daddy,” she whispers, as she wraps her arms around my waist. I could tell she now felt safe.

“Now go, child, go do all the bad things you really meant to do when you were on that world. No more being good and trying to make yourself acceptable because of what others told you. The world you have just left was too cruel to you.”

As she looks up at me and smiles, I know she will not fail me.

“Thank you, Father. I always wanted to meet the Devil and come to Hell.”

***

Written in response to the Monthly Speculative Fiction Writing Prompt, from Diana, at Myths of the Mirror. Click here for full details.

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74 responses to “The Porthole”

  1. Robert Matthew Goldstein avatar

    A great twist, Hugh. And a great response to Diana’s prompt.

    1. Hugh's Views and News avatar

      Thanks, Rob. The images Diana has posted for each prompt have all been very inspiring to me.

      1. Robert Matthew Goldstein avatar

        I don’t usually take challenges because my concentration is impaired. This isn’t the case with the images Diana selects. It’s gratifying to be able to participate in challenges like these.

        1. Hugh's Views and News avatar

          I really enjoy taking up challenges, Rob. However, I don’t always have the time to participate in them. And, sometimes, they really stump me.

          1. Robert Matthew Goldstein avatar

            I have an ongoing problem with concentration so when have it I focus on pending work which usually rules out challenges.

  2. George avatar

    I love those little twists, especially when I don’t see them coming. Very well done, Hugh.

    1. Hugh's Views and News avatar

      Thanks, George. Glad you never saw those twists coming.

  3. Dan Antion avatar

    At least I’m not alone in having been caught off-guard for that ending. Nicely done, Hugh.

  4. Erika Kind avatar

    Wow, Hugh. That ending really hit home. Thought-provoking take.

    1. Hugh's Views and News avatar

      Thank you, Erika. I wasn’t very sure about this piece of flash fiction, but the comments say otherwise.

      1. Erika Kind avatar

        I know what you mean. It is makes you think a lot but only because it is so well written with that twist. It shall go deep and it does!

        1. Hugh's Views and News avatar
          1. Erika Kind avatar

            You are very welcome😁

  5. robbiesinspiration avatar

    Very clever twist, Hugh.

    1. Hugh's Views and News avatar

      Thank you. I enjoy my twists, Robbie. 😀

  6. Retirement Reflections avatar

    Very powerful…with a completely unexpected ending!

  7. Gwen Plano avatar
    Gwen Plano

    Didn’t expect that twist. Great story, Hugh.

    1. Hugh's Views and News avatar

      Thanks, Gwen. I like it when people don’t guess my endings.

  8. gizzylaw avatar

    That was FUN!!! Thank you!

  9. John W. Howell avatar

    Nice one, High. I didn’t expect that ending.

    1. Hugh's Views and News avatar

      Music to my ears, thanks, John.

  10. D. Wallace Peach avatar

    Oooh. This gave me the shivers, Hugh. I was delighted to see your link show up this morning. What a great tale with twists and twists until coming to the final one. So interesting that the Devil was unsure if he wanted the girl. Cool story. I’ll get it lined up to share. :-)

    1. Hugh's Views and News avatar

      When I realised the closing date was closing fast, Diana, I had to get the story out of my draft folder before it got lost. I dread to think what the Devil would have done to me if I’d forgotten to publish his version. 😈

      1. D. Wallace Peach avatar

        Heh heh. You made it in plenty of time, Hugh. Safe from old Satan for another month. Lol.

        1. Hugh's Views and News avatar

          Phew! I’ll hold you to that. 😀

  11. Ritu avatar

    What a great take Hugh!

    1. Hugh's Views and News avatar

      Thanks, Ritu. Glad you enjoyed it.

  12. willowdot21 avatar

    Well that’s a turn up for books 💜

    1. Hugh's Views and News avatar

      I’m glad to hear it. And there was me thinking that Hell was underneath us.

      1. willowdot21 avatar

        Above and below and around us Hugh…one false stop , one wrong turn 😖

  13. Solitaire avatar

    Love this Hugh!

  14. Penny Wilson Writes avatar

    wow! Well, that was a twist I didn’t expect! :) Well done, Hugh!

    1. Hugh's Views and News avatar

      Thanks, Penny. Your words are music to my ears.

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