Who’s In Control? #flashfiction

March 26, 2020, prompt: In 99 words (no more, no less), write a story in which a character takes charge. Who is this character, and what situation calls for their action? It can be playful or serious, fantastical, or realistic. Go where the prompt leads!


“A gun? Who’s got a gun?” murmured Doug, as he tried to take control of his body which felt like a block of concrete. “And where’s Sophie?”

***

Two floors below, Sophie’s eyes moved from the twitching nose of the rabbit to the back of the mysterious woman’s head. “You’re not as in control as you think you are, Sophie,” giggled the woman.

***

Forced to close his eyes, to protect them from the paint dust, the tapping noise Mike heard suddenly stopped. Opening his eyes slowly, he was stunned to see the face of a woman looking down at him.


Click here to read the first part of this story and follow the links back to this part.

Image credit: Charli Mills

Written in response to the 99-word flash fiction challenge hosted by Charli Mills at the Carrot Ranch.

Click here to read the next part of the story.

Click here to join other writers participating in the challenge.

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Author: Hugh W. Roberts

My name is Hugh. I live in the city of Swansea, South Wales, in the United Kingdom. My blog covers a wide range of subjects, the most popular of which are my blogging tips posts. If you have any questions about blogging or anything else, please contact me by clicking on the 'Contact Hugh' button on the menu bar. Click on the 'Meet Hugh' button on the menu bar to learn more about me and my blog.

24 thoughts

    1. Oh, it will undoubtedly end, but as actress Judy Dench once said: “there is no such thing as an ending, it’s just the part where you leave the story.”

      I thought of writing scripts but never attempted it. I did hear that screenwriters write scripts precisely the same way as if they were viewing the story on a screen. I’m not sure the three-points-of-view in this story would work on-screen unless they were extended by more than the 33-words I’m allowed for each character per episode. I’m sure a good director would sort it out. And oh! How I wish one of my stories was made into a film. That would be a dream come true.

    1. I’ve no idea, Debby. Part of me wants the story to end soon, while another part of me is saying ‘carry on.’ I hope I can bring the story to a satisfactory end that readers enjoy. We will see.

    1. No worries, Sam. It’ll be a ‘pages’ document, but I’ll add a link to the latest episode from the story as soon as it’s ready. I’m only allowed 99-words each episode but am already nearing 1500 words for the whole story.

    1. I’m wasn’t so sure, Liesbet. I thought at first that it was going to be easy, but despite doing all I could, I still could not write in anything about ‘being in charge’ for Mike’s part of the story. Still, I got the other two…I think. I’m happy how it turned out. Now I can’t wait to hear what this week’s prompt will be.

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