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The Battle

With the dead bodies of her two best friends close by, eleven-year-old Miranda carefully raised one of the window slats with her finger and peered out into the garden.

She watched as the massive creature, known as a Nellyphant, pushed its trunk against the tree house looking for its next meal. Although it was snowing, she could also make out the smaller creatures, known as Mickice, on the roof of the treehouse. They, too, had grown a liking for human flesh.

Miranda’s trap, of leaving her dolls in the treehouse, had worked. The creatures thought they had their next meal, but Miranda knew it wouldn’t be long before they worked out that they had been tricked.

While sliding her hand slowly between the window slats, the door behind Miranda creaked. She froze to the spot, terrified of what was coming into the room. However, she had her weapon ready in her other hand, so she knew she had a good chance of spinning around, taking aim, and killing with one shot whatever was coming through the door.

As she quietly counted down from five, she heard whatever it was, slowly approach her. The wheezing sound it made as it took short, sharp, intakes of breath, made the tiny hairs on the back of her neck stand on end.

Just before her countdown ended, Miranda gripped her weapon firmly, span around, took aim, and faced what was behind her.

“Take this,” she yelled, as she fired her weapon at the biggest Nellyphant she’d seen.

Then the real world appeared.

“OK, young lady, that’s enough,” coughed Miranda’s Mother, while removing the PlayStation virtual reality headset from Miranda’s head. “You’re too young to be playing this violent videogame,” she voiced while holding the box of the game in front of Miranda’s face. “Go play with your dolls instead.”

As Miranda climbed the stairs in protest, her mother blew her nose before slipping on the virtual reality set. Maybe playing a video game would take her mind off the head cold she had.

***

Written in response to the Monthly Speculative Fiction Writing Prompt, from Diana, at Myths of the Mirror. Click here for full details.

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66 responses to “The Battle”

  1. Sadje avatar

    You took it to the obvious direction that no one had thought of!

    1. Hugh's Views and News avatar

      Thank you. I always end up going to the places nobody else thinks of. 😀

      1. Sadje avatar

        That is a creative mind!

  2. Norah avatar

    What a fun story, Hugh, with a very unexpected ending. How fitting that Mum should send Miranda away so she can play the game – seems like a familiar scenario. What’s good for the goose …

    1. Hugh's Views and News avatar

      Exactly, Norah. At least mum is over the age limit for playing the game, though. I wonder if she enjoyed battling the Nellyphants?

      1. Norah avatar

        I think she probably would. I would. :)

  3. Image Earth Travel avatar

    Great read and love the imaginative twist!
    Many thanks for stopping by my Travel and Photography blog.

    1. Hugh's Views and News avatar

      Thanks for reading. Glad you enjoyed it. Once I got started, I enjoyed writing this piece of flash fiction.

      1. Image Earth Travel avatar

        You’re very talented!

  4. Jordy avatar

    Well done, Hugh! Would have never thunk it! Love, “go play withyour dolls.” Yeah right!

    1. Hugh's Views and News avatar

      I know, not the kind of thing parent’s tell their kids these days, or do they?
      Thanks, Jordy. Glad you enjoyed my version of this writing prompt.

  5. Claudette avatar

    You are the master of unexpected :)

    1. Hugh's Views and News avatar

      Why, thank you, Claudette. That is indeed an honour.

  6. Mary Smith avatar

    Didn’t see the twist coming at all. When her mother told her to go and play with her dolls my first thought, before my brain caught up, was, ‘oh, no, her dolls are in the tree house – the Nellyphant will get her’

    1. Hugh's Views and News avatar

      Lol, thank goodness those Nellyphants were only in the video game, Mary. It could have been an unfortunate ending for Miranda had they not only existed online.

  7. jjspina avatar

    Loved it, Hugh! Didn’t want it to end! You are so creative! Hope you had a Happy Valentine’s Day! ❤️🤗😘

    1. Hugh's Views and News avatar

      You didn’t want it to end, Janice? Maybe one for me to work on and give more legs to then?
      Glad you enjoyed it.
      Hope you had a great Valentine’s day.

  8. Debbie Bugezia avatar

    Great story, I had no idea it would be a video game!! 😂 love it!

    1. Hugh's Views and News avatar

      Thanks, Debbie. I always love it when my stories lead readers up the wrong path.

  9. Aimer Boyz avatar
    Aimer Boyz

    That’s a tough picture to twist into a story, Hugh. Nice job.
    I liked that bit at the end where the mother plays the game…Don’t do as I do, do as I say :)

    1. Hugh's Views and News avatar

      Tell me about it, Aimer. I was determined not to allow that elephant (or mice) defeat me.

  10. JT Twissel avatar

    The thought of a carnivorous Nellyphant is pretty horrifying. Mother knows best! Even though she has an ulterior motive.

    1. Hugh's Views and News avatar

      Absolutely. I would have never argued with my mother.

  11. Terri Webster Schrandt avatar

    You are so creative, Hugh! What a great story with 21st century twists! Intriguing image on which to base the story!

    1. Hugh's Views and News avatar

      It was a tough image to write something about, Terri. However, I was determined not to allow that elephant to defeat me.

  12. Chuck avatar

    Hi Hugh,
    Great imagination and I too was pulled into the story. HUGS

    1. Hugh's Views and News avatar

      That’s great to hear, Chuck. Thanks so much for reading my piece of flash fiction.
      Hugs to you.

  13. Teagan R. Geneviene avatar

    Hugh this is fabulous in elephantine proportions! First the unexpected (only you my friend, could come up with that), and ending with another unexpected twist.
    Tee-hee! I loved it. Happy Valentine’s Day hugs! <3

    1. Hugh's Views and News avatar

      I’m glad you enjoyed it, Teagan. I don’t know why, but I thought of Copper when trying to think of a name for the man-eating elephant. I just wondered what she would have called them.
      Hope you have a lovely Valentine’s Day.
      Hugs.

  14. willowdot21 avatar

    Absolutely love this Hugh 💜💜🎉

  15. Retirement Reflections avatar

    Brilliant! Your story had me riveted until the very last word (and beyond)!

    1. Hugh's Views and News avatar

      That’s fantastic to hear, Donna. Thank you. Keep an eye out for those Nellyphants. 👀

  16. D. Wallace Peach avatar

    Ha ha ha. I love it, Hugh. Your imagination was on overdrive. I was totally swept up in the “game” and loved the twist. Thanks so much for taking up the prompt! I’m eager to share. :-)

    1. Hugh's Views and News avatar

      You’re welcome, Diana. It was a hard prompt for me. I didn’t think I’d come up with anything. Then a story started to build…
      I had great fun writing it.

      1. D. Wallace Peach avatar

        I figured it would be a challenging stretch for lots of us, but the stories have been spectacular. So varied and immensely creative. I’m so glad you gave it a go. :-)

  17. lensdailydiary avatar

    Great imaginative story Hugh. You definitely surprised me with the ending.

    1. Hugh's Views and News avatar

      Thank you, Len. My imaginative mind sometimes goes into overdrive.

  18. Robert avatar

    Very intriguing! I had to keep reading on!

    1. Hugh's Views and News avatar

      Music to my ears, Robert. Thanks for reading.

  19. Eileen avatar

    Nooo – I’ll be imagining Nellyphants now!

    1. Hugh's Views and News avatar

      I’ve been singing ‘Nellie the Elephant’ all morning 😀

      1. Eileen avatar

        :-D – now I have that in my head too. I hope Nellyphants aren’t a problem in your neck of the woods – we’ll be visiting on our holibobs and I haven’t room in the car for the anti-nellyphant deterrant spray

        1. Hugh's Views and News avatar

          They’ve been extinct since the appearance of ‘hugopopotamuses, and they’re not man-eaters, Eileen, so you’re safe. Enjoy your trip.

        2. Eileen avatar

          Phew, that’s a relief :-)

  20. Ritu avatar

    Love your take on this prompt Hugh!

    1. Hugh's Views and News avatar

      Thanks, Ritu. When I first saw the prompt, I thought I’d never come up with anything. Then a story in my head began to build.

      1. Ritu avatar

        I’ve been intrigued by some of the responses!

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