49 Days In 1988: Week 40 – The Visit

Click here to read the first week of this feature, and follow the links at the end of each post.

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London – October 9th, 1988

I was so nervous when I went to see Marty in hospital today. Anyone would have thought I was entering a dangerous place to meet up with somebody who was evil. If there’s one thing Marty is not, it’s a witch!

My mouth almost hit the floor when I saw him. He was fast asleep, but he looked to have aged by 20 years. I sat beside him for a while not wanting to wake him up. I couldn’t help but cry at what he had done to himself.

Just as I was about to leave, he woke up and immediately smiled when he saw me. ‘You’ve come,’ were his words, which quickly made me burst out laughing. It was just the way he said it, plus my dirty mind at work. We both cried with laughter before I sat down again and we talked about what had happened. 

I do worry about him having to go back to Grassmere Road. From what he told me, the house is now full of tension. They’ve now all been told they have to be out by the end of the month. He assured me, though, that he did have someplace to go if he didn’t find anything before then. It’s a shame that his flat purchase fell through because he couldn’t get a mortgage. 

As I left the hospital, I couldn’t help but look up at the sky and ask that he gets better. I’m sure he’ll make a full recovery, but I only hope he doesn’t go back to the drug scene.

#London #music #bloggers #city #LGBTQI #LGBT

***

Welcome to this new feature for 2018 on Hugh’s Views and News. In this feature, I’ll be sharing snippets from my diary of 1988. We’ll also take a trip in Hugh’s Music Time machine to hear some songs from the 1980s which have been chosen by some specially invited guests.

This week my guest is the writer and blogger, Kat Carpita. Kat began writing her blog, Dandelion Fuzz, four and a half years ago. She is the mother of three grown children and Nonna to two grandsons. She lives with her husband and dog, Ari, in the suburbs south of Chicago, Illinois.

Kat loves reading, writing, taking photos- with both her phone and the DSLR camera she still needs to learn how to use, music, and most importantly spending time with her family and friends. These days much of her time is spent helping out with her young grandsons, and she finds herself back in the throes of potty training and homework.

#writer #blogger
Writer and blogger, Kat Carpita

When she isn’t reading to her three-year-old grandson, she’s been on a biography kick lately. She loves music of all styles, but her favourite musician without a doubt is her youngest son, Andy.

Her favourite pastime is participating in NaNoWriMo (National November Writing Month), which she has taken part in every year since 2011. She is currently in the early stages of writing a children’s book with her middle child, Kris, featuring a gender fluid main character.

Although Kat’s blog began as an outlet for her to share and explore her family’s journey with an LGBT child, as her life changed, her blog changed, too. Kat discovered a love for photography through photo challenges which she incorporated into her blog, often accompanied by quotes, memories or thoughts on the subject matter. One of her favourite parts of blogging is interacting with other bloggers. She has found the blogging community to be one of the friendliest she has ever known, and she treasures the friendships she has made.

When I asked Kat to choose a piece of work she wanted me to feature, she found herself stuck between two blog posts to feature and asked me to pick. I told her I’d feature both of them.

The first post, Yesterday Once More, is a post of Kat’s that I shared on my blog in September 2017. It’s one of her favourites because it’s light-hearted and brings back fond memories of being a goofy teenager. Click here to read the post.

The second post, Blessings and Lessons, strikes a chord in Kat because so much of her life has been spent in Mom mode. Kat says – it’s funny because these two posts are so much a part of who I was and who I am. As I go through childrearing 2.0 with my grandsons, all of these lessons are being put to good use. Click here to read the post.

 Connect with Kat.

Blog

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Kat’s song choice is Beautiful Boy (Darling Boy) by John Lennon.

Released on the 1980 album Double Fantasy, Paul McCartney has stated that this is one of his favourite songs written by Lennon. The song was used on the B-side of the song Happy Xmas (War is Over) to promote the compilation album The John Lennon Collection in 1982. Thanks for the excellent song choice, Kat.

In October 1988, despite his drug taking, I thought Marty was still very much a beautiful boy. Do you have a favourite song connected to something beautiful? Share a link to it in the comments.

Next week, with a nine-day break from work looming, as new beginnings and new doors open, will they lead to the same old problems or is life about to change for good? Click here to find out.

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56 comments

  1. I feel for Marty as well, but your opening line to him sure was a twist to the hospital visit, Hugh. I didn’t see that one coming. I’m glad the laughing took the tension off your reunion and I so hope Marty learned his lesson. Not sure this topic will come up again in your series, but, if not, I hope to find out life went on beautifully for him. Looking forward to the next installment of this soap opera!

    Wishing Kat a lot of fun, enjoyment and productivity for the next NaNoWriMo. It’s almost there again. It seems, these day anyway, that grandmothers around the world are playing an important role raising the 2.0 generation of kids and leaving an important mark.

    1. ‘Laughter is the best medicine.’ I live by that quote, Liesbet. It’s got me out of many an awkward situation in my lifetime. Generally, it seems to work quite well. There will be more news about Marty in a few weeks time, so we’re not done with him quite yet. Plus, I have no idea what the entries for November or December are going to reveal yet.

  2. It’s never good to see a friend hurt or ill, particularly when it’s of their own doing. I do hope Marty will heal and stay away from the drug scene.
    It was great to meet Kat and learn a little about her and her blogs. What a fabulous choice of song. Our beautiful boys will be forever our beautiful boys, whatever their ages.

  3. This part of your story has shown the beautiful and caring side of you. I lost friends to drugs, though I never took any myself I was always coming up close and personal with alsorts of drugs. I do hope your friend recovered and survived.
    I have lots of song that put me in mind of things of beauty in my life. If I am really honest my three sons are the most beautiful things in my life, and also my two grandsons. I always love My three babies by Sinnade O’Conner.

    1. That’s a song I’ve never heard before, so thank you for sharing it with us, Willow.

      A drug culture still seems to be very much a part of many people’s lives these days. I’ve rarely come into close contact with it, yet I know it lurks around every corner. It’s devastating when it ruins people’s lives, yet some still choose to pursue it rather than seek help.

      I’m so pleased you shared with us some of the things of beauty in your life. Long may they continue to bring you happiness.

      1. Thank you Hugh, children and grandchildren bring you beauty, happiness, sorrow and worry in equal measure .. but no one who has had than would ever be without them. Even drug addicts well addicts of any kind love their children they just are not capable of loving or looking after them properly. It a sad world where addiction removes humanity.
        Sorry Hugh, I am getting depressing aren’t I . Here you and the my blogily are very prescious to me too.

    1. It was both a shock (when I first saw him in the hospital bed) and a relief, Sam.

      I hope you enjoy reading Kat’s blog. I’ve known her since my early days of blogging when we were both on the same online blogging course that WordPress ran back then.

    2. Thank you for checking out my blog, Sam! I had the chance to head over to your blog. I agree that 50 is not as old as I thought! I’m always happy to meet someone who thinks the same way. I know more than a few people who have turned 50 and immediately settled into senior citizenship but that’s not me! It’s nice to meet you!

  4. I remember this song and more so after Lennon was killed. Glad Marty is better (still quipping I see). Kat has great photos and we have just recently been acquainted on the blog as she joined the Sunday Stills challenge!

    1. Yes, even though he was in hospital, his sense of humour was still there with him, Terri. I think it helped him recover from this ordeal in his life.

      It’s great to see that Kat has joined in with the Sunday Stills Challenge. It looks to be going from strength to strength. Congratulations on making it a big success. 📸

    2. This song always reminds me of my firstborn so it has special meaning to me. I remember being stunned when John Lennon was killed and many years later my younger son and I went to NYC and visited Strawberry Field at Central Park and stood outside the Dakota, taking it all in.

      I’m enjoying Sunday Stills. I was aware of the photo challenge for years but it wasn’t until recently that the time was right. I’m glad that you continued the challenge.

  5. Now there’s a great old song! Nice to learn a bit about Kat. And of course I’m wondering if Marty ever fully recovered or went back to his sad ways. ❤

    1. Our paths never crossed much after I moved out of Grassmere Road, Debby. New doors soon opened for me that led to new friends and situations. From what I remember, Marty passed away sometime in the late 1990s. I still have a Valentine’s card he sent me in 1987, one he’d made using a computer at work which, back then, was the beginning of the computer age.
      xx

      1. Oh that is sad Hugh that Marty passed. I’m happy to hear that moving away from there opened new doors for you. Often that’s what we need is a change of venue to change our lives. 🙂 ❤ xx

  6. Hi Hugh. Your hospital visit with Marty brought back vivid memories of a 1985 hospital visit with my boyfriend, William, who suddenly sickened and died from AIDS. The sense of shock you describe when you saw how drugs had altered Marty’s appearance brought back the shock I experienced when I saw how quickly AIDS had aged and weakened William. Thank you for the introduction to Kat. I look forward to getting to know her blog.

    1. Such sad memories, Rob. I also went through the same thing with visiting friends in hospital who had AIDS. The same thing also happened when I saw my mother in her final days. She quickly deteriorated, yet in her final few moments, I saw the beauty that once bestowed her before she finally fell into a sleep she would not wake up from.

    2. Thank you for visiting my blog, Rob. And thanks for the encouragement! I’ve talked about learning more about photography for a couple of years now and it’s time for me to actually do it! 🙂 It’s nice to meet you!

  7. Hi Hugh,
    Now, Princess, the other boy enters (Marty) and changes the whole progression. What are we to think now? 😳The 80’s were a drug-induced period for lots of gays, especially in the bar scene. (I would know) I never wanted those nights to end. I’m glad I got through it unscathed.

    I’m happy to meet you Kat and I want to venture over to your blog site. It does sound interesting especially dealing with children and LGBT issues.

    1. Hi Chuck,

      I did have a brief fling with Marty before moving into Grassmere Road. That fling may have resulted in me getting the room. 😀

      Kat’s blog is great. I hope you enjoy reading it. She also does some wonderful photography.

    2. Please do stop by, Chuck! Raising kids can be trying at times but when we added the LGBT component, it changed things- all for the better! It’s nice to meet you!

  8. Thank you so much for including me, Hugh! I’m glad to hear that Marty gets better. I had to chuckle at the “dirty mind” thought. One of my friends and I can’t seem to let certain suggestive phrases pass with out referencing it! Looking ahead I’m going to guess that it’s a mixture of both for you- some of the same old, same old and some new good stuff too!

    1. You’re very welcome, Kat. Thank you so much for accepting my invitation to participate in this feature and for getting all the information I asked for over to me.

      I still find myself in fits of giggles when certain words or sentences I hear are turned by me into ‘suggestive’ dialogue. Sometimes I laugh at myself when I’ve said something, even though the other party has no idea what I’m laughing about. It can be very embarrassing and, as I blush rather a lot, be very hard to explain without digging myself into an even deeper hole. ☺️

  9. A poignant post. Especially as I just heard of a friend losing his daughter to a drug overdose. So sad. The song is also a great pick. However, I am pleased to read that Marty was OK and laughing. I do hope he learned from this experience.

    1. From what I’ve read (I’m only two weeks ahead in my diary), there’s little mention of Marty, so I think he went on to better things. The trouble was, though, is that I saw less and less of the housemates from Grassmere Road once I’d moved out.

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