49 Days In 1988: Week 28 – The Losing Battle

Click here to read the first week of this feature, and follow the links at the end of each post.


London – July 24th, 1988

A meeting with Jamie tonight made me think back to two months ago when I first met him and how I hoped that things would develop between us. However, after seeing him this evening, I now know that it will never happen, and all because Jamie is fighting a losing battle over his love for his ex-boyfriend.

I feel so sorry for Jamie but he seems set in his ways, and there’s nobody that can bring him out of the situation he’s in. When I left him tonight, at Marble Arch underground station, I knew that it would be a long time before I see or even talk to him again. He’s kept himself off the gay-scene since the spilt, and for as long as this goes on there’s no helping him and turning him in a new direction. He’s left me feeling helpless and, as much as I want to help, I don’t think anyone, let alone me, will be able to break down the wall he’s built around himself. It’s such a shame. I see myself running away from yet another problem, but know I’ve done all I can to help.  

#London #music #bloggers #city #LGBTQI #LGBT


Welcome to this new feature for 2018 on Hugh’s Views and News. In this feature, I’ll be sharing snippets from my diary of 1988. We’ll also take a trip in Hugh’s Music Time machine to hear some songs from the 1980s which have been chosen by some specially invited guests.

This week my guest is the blogger and writer, Ellen Best. Ellen is somebody who came along to the Bloggers Bash in 2017. Not only that, but she also won the Bloggers Bash writing competition that year with a compelling short story that even had shivers running down my spine. Click here to read the story.

Ellen lives with her husband in the beautiful county of Suffolk, in the UK, where they welcome friends and family into their home for scenic holidays, beach walks, good food, and music punctuated with stories. It sounds the perfect place for inspiration and for writing, to me.

If you check out Ellen’s ‘about me‘ page on her blog, you’ll read that her blog is the place she goes to get away from the events of everyday life. In her own words –

My resting, clearing cobwebs from my head and taking my mind off the sticky stuff is done here. It is with *sigh * a deep breath, (here in my safe place) that you will find me. I am here with words, scribble, story and rhyme, if you look close enough you’ll find pieces of me.

Just reading that snippet from Ellen’s about me page told me that this was an exciting, unique writer who would have me hooked with what she wanted to say.

#blogger #writer
Writer and blogger Ellen Best

I asked Ellen to chose one of her favourite blog posts that she had written, and she came back to me with a post titled ‘For The Love Of Milly.’ It’s a beautiful piece of writing that will probably bring tears to your eyes. If you don’t believe me, then click here to read it.

Connect with Ellen.

Blog: EllenBest24

Twitter: @cheshirebest 

Ellen’s song choice is  Lip Up Fatty by Bad Manners.

Released in 1980,  Lip Up Fatty was a song released by Bad Manners which, according to frontman Buster Bloodvessel (no kidding!) was an expression used at his school to tell people to shut up. Thank you for the interesting song choice, Ellen. It’s one I’d never heard before.


Back in July 1988, maybe I should have told Jamie to ‘shut up’ and to get on with his life? Do you have a favourite song that has a hidden message? Share a link to it in the comments.

49 Days In 1988 will be back on Thursday 2nd August when we’ll discover not only is love on the cards, but it’s from a very unexpected source.

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Author: Hugh W. Roberts

My name is Hugh. I live in the city of Swansea, South Wales, in the United Kingdom. My blog covers a wide range of subjects, the most popular of which are my blogging tips posts. If you have any questions about blogging or anything else, please contact me by clicking on the 'Contact Hugh' button on the menu bar. Click on the 'Meet Hugh' button on the menu bar to learn more about me and my blog.

57 thoughts

  1. Such a great post Hugh! Ellen is a great guest, a great blogger and she picked a song I remember very well💜💜.
    Your story is showing how you matured you learned a lot! Especially there are those you cannot help unless they want to help themselves. I have had friends like that and even been the ostrich with blinkers on!
    A song that means a lot to me and gets me to reavaluate things is The pick me up song, ( All this time) by Maria Mena such a happy song on the surface just look a little deeper.

    1. I agree, Willow. If you want help, then you have to be able to help yourself first. Your song choice demonstrated this in a great way. One I’ve not heard before, but it was sung and performed beautifully. Thank you for sharing it with us.

      1. It is a song I did not find until after breaking my back the second time. Yet it summed my life, blaming everything and everyone else for my problems but I have it sussed now! Even down to grind bullied at school ( thought don’t ” write pop songs and get to travel around the world”. Anyway there is a lot of sense in the song lyrics. As I have said before a book or a TV series in the making 💜💜

  2. People do come and go in and out of our lives. It wasn’t meant to be, but I happened to read in your comment that you saw each other again. Life does go on! So nice to meet Ellen and read the short story! Beautiful writing indeed!

    1. Very true, Terri. It was certainly never meant to be. Sometimes we have to let go of what life did not intend for us and move on. I’m just very pleased that our paths crossed again so that I could see what had happened to Jamie.

  3. I think I enjoy Ellen’s writing more than her taste in music, Hugh. And I also think you’re right – you’ve done your best for Jamie.

    1. Hi Norah, the song has strong memories locked in its words. It is not because it is a favorite I chose it. It was because the song opened my eyes to what was before me, the catalist if you like … that shaped the next step in my life. He was a character with an extraordinary name. Thank you for reading and listening. Music/ sounds can wake long hidden feelings it has the power.

      1. That’s very true, Ellen. Different words, sounds, music, scents, textures all evoke different memories. I apologise. I didn’t mean to discredit your choice.

  4. I’m so happy to get back to reading your blog, Hugh, and will try to get caught up on the 49 Days series. Too bad about Jamie, but I do have hope you will find ‘Mr. Right’ soon! Enjoyed reading Ellen’s touching story. I tried to leave this comment on her blog but not sure it went through: “I know a couple named Bob and Milly, and thought of their devotion to each other as I read your touching story, Ellen. But it also translated other couples I’ve known who showed love to each other even when one of them was ‘absent’ due to dementia. Lovely story. ❤️”

    1. Hello Molly and thank you for reading, alas no comment on my blog but please come for a read any time. 😊 your comment is greatly appreciated. We all hope we have that love … especially at the end.

      1. You are welcome, Ellen. Love nourishes us throughout our entire life span doesn’t it? But there are likely more fears about not having it present for us in the end. In my experience with family and as a nurse it is a privilege to offer love to someone at that stage of life.

  5. I feel for Jamie and am glad to see in your comments he seemed happy when you met years later. Ellen’s song choice is an interesting one, which I like most of your readers hadn’t heard before.

    1. Completly new song for me as me, as well, Mary. I am enjoying the rather diverse music choices of all my guests in this series.

      Yes, Jamie did go on to find happiness. I guess it was all just a matter of time.

    2. Mary it is an odd one but reminded me of 1988. when I hear it I am in a very different place not one I wish to return to. Music even bad music hides memories in its notes. X

  6. I know this feeling Hugh, the best thing we can do is walk away. Always sad, but necessary, ❤ And I enjoyed Ellen's song pick. Again, one I'd never heard of though LOL. I'm getting a British education at your blog, lol. 🙂 ❤

  7. Sad story about Jamie. But as you said, you did all you could and if he wasn’t receptive, nothing helps anyway. Ellen picked an interesting song, I never heard it before!

  8. Hi Hugh,
    Ahhh – I had such hopes for you and Jamie. But when it’s not meant to be, then it doesn’t happen. But we know there is lots more of this adventure to come. Hopefully, the Princess will find her White Knight. ☺️

  9. Your journal entries paint a picture of a kind and caring man, Hugh. I’m sorry you had a hard time finding your soul mate. I was blessed to meet mine when we were eighteen and we never looked back 🙂

  10. Thank you Hugh. X I have been whisked away by The Husband to a surprise break for my birthday, sporadic wifi means I will catch up with everyone who calls in at my blog when ever I can. This is a wonderful way to start my birthday today. A superb new post and a generous Hugh. Thank you again. *waves* off for shenanigains call. X

    1. Oh, I had no idea it was your birthday, Ellen. I guess many of my guests did the same thing and chose their birthday. I wonder how many ‘Happy Birthdays’ I’ve missed? 🤔 More to the point, how much cake have I missed? 😂

      Have a great time, and see you when you get back.

      Happy Birthday to you. 🎂

      Best wishes. 🥂

  11. Sometimes there is only so much one can do for another person and you were wise to walk away, even though it caused you pain. I have never heard this song before or the band. What a funny expression.

  12. Hugh, it’s so hard when we want to help someone yet know we’re powerless to do so. I know it felt like “running away,” but you weren’t.

    Love Ellen’s “about” page. She’s terrific. So are you. Hugs to you both.

  13. I feel for the younger you, Hugh. And, while this happened decades ago, I am sorry that it never worked out between you and Jamie, based on your diary entries and your fondness for him. Our lives and paths would be so different, of one element in our past would have developed a certain way.

    Ellen’s description on her blog is interesting and appealing. She certainly has a way with words!

    1. Yes, very true, Liesbet. I often wonder about ‘what if’ but, of course, we’ll never know the answers to those thoughts. What happened was all meant to happen. That’s how I see it, anyway. I can still picture Jamie from 1988. He had one of the best smiles I’ve ever seen. 😀

  14. I’m sorry things did not work out for you and Jamie. I hope he found his way forward and you did too…
    Lovely to meet Ellen. I loved “For the Love of Millie.” She was blessed to have such love and care. I had forgotten about Bad Manners. They do make you want to dance around the house!

    1. I certainly did, Brigid. I haven’t read entries beyond next week’s entry, so I don’t know if Jamie did feature in my life again in 1988. Our paths did cross again about seven years ago, and he seemed a happy man back then. Unfortunately, he passed away in 2015.

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