The Shocking Truth Found Inside Men’s Underpants

I wasn’t even looking for underpants, but something drew my eyes to the underwear section of the website I was looking at. For some strange reason, I could not take my eyes off what was in front of me.

#shopping #humour #clothes

Before you ask, it was an entirely safe and well-known website but, one hour and forty-five minutes later, there was still nothing in my checkout basket. Had I really spent all that time admiring all the eye-candy underpants on offer, or had I fallen asleep at the computer, bored at the prospect of buying what I had intended coming here for?

It wasn’t long before I started asking myself questions such as why do the eye-candy models have to be semi-naked when modelling underpants? I even discovered that when I hovered my mouse over one of the models, he would spin around for me and show me the view from behind. That’s quite a handy little tool, don’t you think? How many times have you asked yourself what your ‘Mr Man’ socks look like when viewed from behind?

Then I asked myself if I would have been spending as much time as I was in the men’s underwear section of this website if all the models were like our postman, Pete? (or ‘Pop it in Pete’, as I like to call him). He can be very chatty when he hands me something too large to go through the slot. However, I decided that I’d asked myself a difficult question, so I moved on and remembered what I had come to the website for.

Before I knew it, I started asking myself if Pete would spend as much time as me in the men’s underwear section of this website? Probably not, given that he’s told me about his two grownup daughters, although he does like listening to Kylie and watching ‘Will and Grace’ on a Friday night.

Pete wasn’t a good example so I wondered if our plumber, Roger, would spend as much time as I was in the men’s underwear section? Do tradesmen like going shopping for themselves given, that when I worked in retail, some men leave it until the last minute to buy that perfect gift for their wife/girlfriend/partner? Knowing that Roger doesn’t like shopping, which he mentioned to me whilst nibbling on a whole packet of custard creams, would he ever buy his own underpants?

Shaking thoughts of Pete and Roger from my head, I then noticed that most of the underpants on the website were on sale. Great, I could bag myself a bargain before looking for that item I’d come here to buy. Now, this is when the real problems started because there were so many shapes and styles of underpants, to keep your crown jewels safe, that I really started getting confused.

Boxers, briefs, V-shaped, hipster, ribbed (ribbed? I thought you only found ribbed on—) trunks, G-String, jocks; the list seemed endless. I decided that it would be better for me to go to the shopping centre (because I’d be told that men’s underpants were down in Marks & Spencer) and try on all these different styles of underpants so I would know which suited me and the crown jewels best.

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My trip to Marks & Spencer was short lived when an elderly lady, who had evidently mistaken me for a shop assistant, approached me and asked, “where do you keep your knickers, love?” When I was later told that I was not allowed to try on any of the underwear for hygienic reasons (I did explain to the lady outside the men’s changing rooms that I had showered before coming out), coming to a shopping centre to do my shopping was a mistake. I decided to head home again and do what I always do when it comes to shopping – do it online!

By this time, the whole day had just about disappeared, and I decided I didn’t need to buy any underpants after-all because I’d had some given to me for Christmas! Phew, that was lucky, but then I started asking myself how Santa always got the size right?

Gentlemen – do you encounter any of these problems when buying your underpants, or do you save time and get somebody to buy them for you?

Ladies – who is the buyer of the underpants for the men in your household, and do you encounter as many problems as I do when shopping for underpants?

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Author: Hugh W. Roberts

My name is Hugh. I live in the city of Swansea, South Wales, in the United Kingdom. My blog covers a wide range of subjects, the most popular of which are my blogging tips posts. If you have any questions about blogging or anything else, please contact me by clicking on the 'Contact Hugh' button on the menu bar. Click on the 'Meet Hugh' button on the menu bar to learn more about me and my blog.

143 thoughts

  1. Haha! You’re quite mad! Reminds me of that episode of Father Ted when all the priests got lost in the women’s lingerie department… hilarious! I have to say I can only respect a man who buys his own underwear, otherwise I feel more like his mother than his partner. Even my boys have now reached the age where they are buying their own clothing… the stuff I choose is so not cool. Apparrantly. 🤣

    1. Good for them, Ali. As for being mad, yes, I concur with that. Sometimes, my brain seems to operate like my Grandmother’s, who once told me that when she came back to this world she wanted to be an octopus so she could slap eight people across the face at the same time. 😉

  2. Lol, so entertaining. But I do agree, there are so many styles and comfort points to think about. Yes, I buy my hubby’s underwear. He always had a thing for plain briefs that fit slightly big because as he says ‘I need ball room’, LOLLLLLLLLLL But recently, I bought him some fitted boxers that he’s quite enjoying – even though he pulls them below his waist to allow him a not so ‘fitted’ fit in the – you know – ‘ball’ department, LOL 🙂 xx

    1. I know where he’s coming from, Debby. Our ‘Crown Jewels’ are as important as the ones locked away in the Tower of London. They need to be safe, secure, kept warm and be cared for. That’s why it’s so important to get right what we put around them. 😀 When choosing which pair to put on, I always tell myself to be considerate to anybody who has to see them. That’s why plain ones are a hit with me. You just never know. 😀

  3. What a funny post, Hugh. My husband and I buy our own underpants at the grocery store. They have a clothing section and the stuff is cheap. It sounds like I should browse for some for him online! Lol

  4. That’s a dilemma for you Hugh. I find my local Aldi store every so often has underwear on sale, they sell packs of 7, and I find size XL at present fits well. Yes I buy my own.

    1. Good to hear, Michael. Somebody once gave me some chocolate from Aldi, but I wasn’t impressed with the taste. I hoping their underwear tastes is good quality. How many washes before they lose their fit and you need to buy more? This is an important question we need to know the answer to.

  5. Hugh, I suspect there are a lot of men and women who spend time looking at ladies lingerie for the same reason. I do like some of those male models (If I didn’t, I’d be dead), but Hubs insists on buying his own underpants because comfort is what it’s all about for him. So he gets all his undies from Duluth Trading Company. They also sell some stuff for women…but the illustrations are all drawn!

    1. It’s not something I’ve looked at, Noelle, but I do believe you. What spoilsports Duluth Trading Company are by having illustrated eye-candy models. I don’t think they are in the UK, but then I haven’t had to really look for underpants when it comes to buying that item of attire.

  6. I have no idea where Richard buys his underwear. Thanks to this post, I am now happy to keep it this way! 🙂

  7. I have to buy underwear for my 90 year old mother! Luckily I know the style she likes and order them online… I once went shopping for her and she wanted to try on all these bikinis and g-string undies and not the “old lady” underwear the salesgirl stirred us towards.

    1. That reminds of two of our friends in their late 60s who tried opening an account at a clothes store that catered for the under 30s. They were in there for ages having to answer lots of security questions because the sale people didn’t believe the account was for them and that it was some kind of fraud.

  8. There are no men in my house, although my mother used to buy my father’s… The problem is probably made worse by the fact that no matter what they call them, they do not fit the same if you buy different mades…

  9. The purchase of undergarments is not too difficult at this end (pun intended). My favorite are Derek Rose boxers, which come from the UK.

  10. “Pop it in Pete” hahaha.
    I buy HIS undies and I must say, I can be briefly distracted by the eye candy on offer online (hold on- am I buying the undies or the men?!).

  11. I’m deeply chocked Hugh. Don’t people have anything else to do with their life than ironing???
    Fair enough, I know some shirts, pants and dresses need to be ironed, but not all in the house. I wouldn’t have time to live, if I needed to iron everything, I prefer to live.

  12. I just trust the style they ask for – if they say “boxers” that’s what I go for. Nobody can afford to try out different styles to see what they suit… you have to buy the things, try them at home and then put up with it if they don’t suit you! (And I don’t think you can even dontate them to a charity shop if you’ve worn them). It’s a tough world for underwear buyers isn’t it!

    1. It is. But now you got me thinking if the makers of underpants are ripping me off by not allowing me to try them on and having to keep them even if they are the wrong fit. I was just wondering if underpants ever make their way to the tables of a jumble sale? I may just check out to see what’s available on eBay. After all, it’s more online shopping. 😀

      1. Now here’s a thought. If ever my writings become highly, highly and commercially successful like JK Rowling and I’m staying the occasional night or two at Claridge’s and the Savoy, then I might have to make sure that my underwear DOESN’T end up on eBay. That has been a problem for Justin Bieber after staying in hotels. However, I’ll let you know how that works out if and when it becomes a problem.

        1. Seriously? People sell underpants on eBay claiming to have been worn by Justin Bieber? I dread to think if they were washed first. Then again, it reminds me of all the underwear singer Tom Jones had thrown at him when on stage. I’m not even going to try and think where it all ended up.

  13. Hi Hugh,
    I haven’t stopped laughing at the title yet.😂 It did draw the necessary attention.
    Not all gay men or straight are like me and have a liking for underwear (underpants in the UK?). The problem is when you get to be my age, it is difficult to admit those bikinis, jocks, thongs, etc. no longer look good on you. The realization of what we think we see in the mirror versus what is really reflected. I will confess, I too have spent hours looking at the eye candy and left the website never purchasing a thing.
    Thanks for a fun post. I’ll stop laughing – maybe tomorrow.

    1. Hi Chuck. Laughter is the best medicine (apart from when you really do need the tablet form). I’m glad this post is going down well and that you’re all laughing about my recent delve into men’s underpants. It’s a frightening world, not as I remember it when I was younger. Still, there is plenty to laugh about, especially when you see what some companies attach to their thongs.
      Keep on laughing. 🤣

    1. And then there’s the thought of not only the fitting of the Underpants changing. I seem to have spread a little over the last few years. I blame it on watching too much Droctor Who when I should have been out walking the dogs. 😁

  14. The shocking truth in these comments is that some people seem to iron underpants. They will be spending all day underneath trousers (or if – in my case unlikely – a non-trousered scenario is encountered, likely to be removed fairly soon). All underpants are non-iron in this household, along with all the other clothing.

  15. Looking at the underwear models online is one of life’s great pleasures for a gay guy. I have no problem buying, either in the store or online. My only quandary, if that’s even the right description, is fly or no-fly? The no-fly briefs show off the goods, but they make peeing a bit of a chore. Such are the problems of my life.

    1. With me, Brian, I find the fly ones far more of a chore. When I’m bursting to go, having to undo the buttons can be a real pain. The same can be said for wanting to get to the ‘crown jewels’ quickly 😀

        1. Now you’ve got me wondering if any Calvin Klein’s I purchased, when in Macy’s, had buttons on them. I know I have a few pairs with buttons on, and they are always cheaper to buy in the states.

      1. Hahaha.I have been told by hubby not to talk about his nether regions on social media. So… will now tell you he does like a crease ironed in the front of his keks – to match the crease in his jeans Actually bought him a thong once – not pretty sight!
        I have a feeling this post will go far, Hugh – reading Dean’s comments below.

        1. I don’t blame, hubby, Judith. I think we’re all very protective of our ‘nether regions.’ I mean look at where football players always place their hands when forming a wall across the mouth of the goal. I seem to remember it one of the reasons why I fell out with the game of cricket. 😢

  16. My husband usually buys his own underwear. However, my mother in law also feels the need to supplement his underwear drawer.(He is 49 years old). I am not sure how to even comment on this practice.Luckily, my mother in law only speaks German so we do not actually have to have the conversation.

    1. That begs the question of what does your husband think about her still buying his underpants? Maybe he came across a few problems buying them, and handed everything back to her? I don’t blame him in the least. Well done to him. Now I wish I could speak German so I could ask your mother-in-law to buy some for me.

      1. He seems to really love buying his own clothes. But, he is an only child, and I think he has just accepted that his mom will always try and buy these things for him. She has started buying clothing for me as well….I am sure if you asked her sweetly, she would add you to her shopping list. 🙂

        1. Oh my goodness, are you Okay with her buying you clothes as well? My step-mother bought me some shirts for Christmas. I didn’t have the heart to say that the pattern would look better as a pair of curtains in a room that gets no daylight, but it’s the thought that counts, isn’t it? 😀

  17. Cyberspouse buys them and I help so I can look at the illustrations. But when he puts them on ( at home, not in the shop! ) they do not look the same as they do on the outside of the box!

    1. I wish I’d never looked into that online underwear department. I wasted so much time and could have easily got through all the ironing of my socks and underpants far quicker. Now, they may look the same as what’s on the outside of the box, but what about the fit? Is that the same as what the box says when cyberspace buys them?

  18. I’m still wondering whether Roger, the plumber would choose wisely his own underwear in view of the reputation of the profession.
    Surprisingly found myself in a quandary last week when looking on-line for underwear. Never knew it could be so complicated when it comes to shapes and sizes and possible differences between the manufacturing specifications in different countries. It was a frustrating waste of time. You might say I was getting my knickers in a twist.

    1. So you know exactly how I was feeling, then? I never have this kind of problems when shopping for socks or a box set of ‘The Golden Girls’ or ‘Downton Abbey.’ I can’t ever remember my mother having these kinds of problems when buying my underpants when I was at school. And those were the days before the internet and shopping online. It’s a minefield out there when it comes to buying men’s underpants. Thank goodness buying man size tissues isn’t such a problem. Roger gave me some great advice on which brand of tissues to buy.
      I wish you luck on your next journey to buy underpants. If I were you, I write and ask Santa to supply them. He seems to get just about everything right. Good luck!

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