4th May 2017
What are you?
Should you even be here?
Are you hiding from me?
Where did you come from?
Why can’t I see you?
Are you animal, vegetable or mineral?
Do you even exist?
You can’t be everything, can you?
Why am I asking you these questions? Well, it’s because I don’t understand you. You see, I’ve heard people talking about you. They say stuff like “you know that thing we were talking about the other day.” Or, “if it wasn’t for the thing I found tied to the ballcock inside our toilet cistern”, or “the house would not have been our home if that thing was still there.” It drives me crazy when I hear people talking about you like that!
You can’t exist, can you, Thing? Put it this way, if we people said what it was we were talking about by name, instead of mentioning you, then there would be absolutely no need for you, would there? After all, everything has a name, doesn’t it?
I’m so sorry if this letter upsets you, but I had to write and tell you how I feel. I could not find you anywhere to tell you in person, and nobody I have asked seems to have any contact details for you, yet you appear to be very popular.
Hold on, what did I just write? ‘Nobody seems to have any contact details for you.’ So, where on earth should I send this letter then?!! Oh no, why am I asking you that question? You don’t exist, do you?
Best wishes, and hope to never see or hear from you again (I won’t, because you don’t exist, do you?).
A euphoric, (now that I have that off my chest), Hugh
P.S – Please send my very best wishes to your friend ‘Nobody’, because they don’t exist either, do they?
Have you ever met ‘Thing’? Do you know anything about ‘Thing’? Leave me details in the comments section.
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