Weird Questions Gay Couples Get Asked

Last week, I published a post entitled 10 Reasons Why You May Be Gay. It got a lot of reaction which is something I always like my posts to get.

I wasn’t going to publish anything along the same line, but when I was pointed to the video below, I couldn’t resist. However, it wasn’t only the subject that got my attention. No! It’s also because a certain breed of dog also features in it.

This is a light-hearted look at some of the questions a gay couple may get asked. It includes some of the items I had on the list in my post last week. I hope you enjoy it and I’d love to know your thoughts. You may need to log into my blog to view the video.

Thanks to Trina at Its Good To Be Crazy Sometimes, for bringing this video to my attention.


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88 thoughts

  1. This did make me laugh, alas because I’m sure these idiotic questions are all too often actually asked! My friend had booked a venue to have his wedding in New Jersey. Originally, they planned to officially marry in NY where gay marriage was legal and just have a faux ceremony/party where they lived in Jersey because when they first planned it, gay marriage was not legal there. But the law went into effect in New Jersey before the date, so the “wedding coordinator” enthusiastically blurted out (at the meeting to choose the menu), “Oh, great, now you can have a real gay party!” My friend and his fiancé cracked up and wondered what she thought they were having before. She then went on to add she was excited about having drag queens attend the first-ever gay wedding in that venue but had some questions about setting up the rest rooms appropriately. In retelling the story to me, my friend wistfully said, “I was kind of sad for her as this woman was about to be woefully disappointed. She’s expecting my big fat gay wedding and we don’t really hang out with a lot of queens. I may have to hire one.” I suggested the least he could do was to have one of the grooms show up dressed as a bride but, alas, they were planning to wear coordinating tweed jackets instead. I’m afraid that poor coordinator was not about to the have the night she was expecting.

    1. Oh dear. I think many get disappointed like that. They seem to think that gay people all live together in a place called ‘Gay City’ and that every once in a while some of us will venture out. It is laughable that some people still think this way but it’s also kinda sad as well.
      That’s a great story Debby, and typically one that this video is aimed at.
      That Wedding Coordinator must have been very disappointed.

  2. Hugh, I am laughing out loud, this is absolutely hilarious, and I love that you laugh about it too, even when so many of these situations are so horrendously cringe worthy! It’s funny, and just to give a slightly different perspective, my brother and I have many times over the years been taken as husband and wife and my middle boy Nicky – he with the long hair and 80s rocker thing going on – has a few gay admirers, one of whom winks at him at work quite often 😉 Thanks for filling my morning with laughter, this is great. I’ve so enjoyed hanging out at your pad, catching up. Now I think I better zoom off and visit some other blogs…see you soon Hugh! xx

    1. You have to laugh, Sherri. Why get angry and upset about it? The video was made by a gay guy and I love what he has done. However, I’m glad these questions don’t get asked as much now and I know some people can still get upset when asked them, but things are so much better now than ten/twenty years ago. There’s still lots more work to be done and I think video’s like this go a long way in helping.
      Glad you enjoyed it.
      Take care,

  3. Are you sure…? really? The ignorance of some people! Funny video, abounding with stereotypes. And are people just rude, stupid, entitled that they can just ask random questions? I work with a diverse work force with gays and lesbians, one just works with each other and don’t make silly assumptions. I can imagine how annoying this could be. I will have to ask my brother and his black partner sometime. LOL. It is indeed a great video and a good fun.

    1. I’m glad you agree with me about the video, Terri. The guy who filmed it also wrote the script and, of course, is gay. I know these questions can cause some a lot of discomfort and that they should never be asked, but it’s good to see somebody, who himself has been asked these questions, put such a great video together and to share it with the world. It’s certainly had loads of hits.

  4. I did once ask a couple of lesbians if they were sisters, not because they lived in the same house but just because they looked like twins. I was so embarrassed when I realised I’d put my foot in it. But never mind, they seemed to forgive me, probably because our dogs got along famously from puppy-hood!
    Some people ask all those daft questions because they’re gone OTT in their attempt to show that they’re cool with people being gay. They probably mean well, but it all comes out wrong.

    1. I agree with you, Sarah. I’ve been tongue-tied often myself and later thought “what the heck was I thinking of when asking that questions?” I’m glad this video was made because I think the script was put together really well and I can so relate to some of the questions being asked (and the reactions they caused).

  5. I enjoyed the ending in particular. I do think that at least a few of the questions are well-intentioned, particularly the do you know so and so. People just want to establish some form of connection when they meet others for the first time. I have a common last name (at least, now I do, before I married it was much more unusual) and get asked all the time if I know some other Potts as if we all get together on the weekends, but just say no and we move on to the next topic. I do agree that some of those characters in the video go overboard.

    1. I can understand why some people do get nervous, Ali, and that usually leads to some strange questions that you later think to yourself ‘what the heck was I thinking of?” I’ve done it myself when meeting the big boss of a company I worked for or meeting somebody that is famous. I’m just very pleased that the questions in the video don’t get asked of me and partner much anymore. I thought the video was well made and I loved the fact that it included a Corgi.

  6. I loved this video and yes I know the questions are asked. In face when my wife and I were getting married a question we were asked was “Who is wearing the dress?” Hello, we are both wearing a dress we are women. Another was the killer question, “So who is on top?” On top of what now? The what in the what now? “Do you lust after Madonna?” Who doesnt? But we would rather lust after the guys on True Blood. Oh lord save me from those who think it`s okay to ask these questions of gay couples when they wouldn`t dare ask them of a straight couple. God bless and keep on smiling.

    1. Glad you enjoyed the video, Adele. It’s such a shame that these questions are still asked of us. Hopefully, one day, they’ll never be asked, but I think we’ve still a long way to go.
      I enjoyed the video and admire the guy who wrote the script and filmed it. As for the smiling – well I’ve no intension of ever giving up on that 😀

  7. Hilarious. I love the idea that the Gay world would be so small you’d know each other. I find it funny that people think because my brother and I are together every weekend that we’re Not brothers and are gay. Of course they’re too sensitive to ask. ha ha
    Hugs Hugh

    1. My partner and I are still asked if we are brothers, David. We sometimes just hold hands and say we are. The reaction can be humorous and I’m pleased to say that those that ask always laugh with us.
      Glad you enjoyed the film. I think it was well made and certainly caused a few laughs from me. I love that they also included the Pembrokeshire corgi in it.
      Hugs to you, David.

  8. Lol! I always love when people are caught off guard meeting a gay person for the first time and they act like they’re supposed to say something to pacify them in nervousness. Typical comment on the video, ‘Um, oh, you know my cousin is gay, or my friend’s friend is gay, bla bla bla, like it’s a revelation. LOLLLLLL. My cousin is gay and just got married recently, we joke around all the time about people’s reactions to finding he’s gay; especially since he’s not the stereotyped gay, he’s a pussycat but if you don’t know him you may be scared of him, he looks like a wrestler and/or a biker. LMAO Great vid! xo 🙂

    1. Glad you enjoyed it, Debby. I think the guy who wrote the script and put the clip together did a really good job. I agree that it’s a shame that these questions typically still get asked, but I like the way he put the film together because those reactions do actually still occur.

  9. Great video. “Can I come to your wedding?” What is that? Weird. My cousin says she and her partner get asked all the time if they are sisters. She’s run out of patience with the questions. She’s like, “Geez, we’re wearing matching rings.”

  10. OMG…. does this really happen? It was truly funny to watch because it is so extremely chliché-ridden. But I think when that happens to you in real life it is not funny at all.

    1. It does, but not as often as it used to, Erika. These questions should never be asked of anyone, but I’m glad the guy who wrote the script and put the clip together went ahead and published the film. I did laugh at it, but only because the questions are so ridiculous. Oh, I loved the Corgi as well.

      1. Ha…. they truly are so ridiculous. I think at one point you simply need to see the irony… It is great you posted it and this way made aware of what you guys have to face … when even not in such ways. But on the other hand there are so many clichés even about hetero relationships too… lI guess such a video would make sense regarding all this old thinking.

        1. I agree, but it’s also good that we can look at it and laugh at ourselves. Look at the actors at the end of the clip. Even they were in stitches of laughter about it. I’m sure there are many videos about the same subject, but this is where I am getting off this boat and moving on to something. I’m very pleased with the reaction I got on both these posts, but other things now await. 😀

        2. I think we all see it pretty much the same way. Yes, the actors are amazing. In the end they made fun about the others… which is so cool! 😃

  11. Too funny my fave question was will you let your kids play sports!

    Sadly we were given single bed on our honeymoon when we had asked for a honeymoon suite. Sigh. There’s still much room for progress but every year it seems to get better and better

    1. Thanks Meredith, and apologies if you found the video offensive. I agree that manners is something we don’t see enough of. Certainly, when I was growing up, we had a lot more respect for people. The questions in the video should never be asked of anyone, but there’s no getting away that they are still asked.

  12. Quite honestly Hugh I am hetrosexual and don’t need to keep banging on about it. I am straight, you are gay, do you really need to keep reminding us. I like your blog for its content that is why I follow, just concentrate on content not sexuality. No offence intended of course. I consider myself a liberal!

    1. Point taken Andrew, and I promise you (and my other readers) that this is the last you’ll hear on the subject. To be honest, if it hadn’t been for the Corgi then I’d probably wouldn’t have posted the video, but I do think it was well made and acted. It’s attracted a lot of attention for the guy that made and published it and I hope he does well. If anything, he can certainly write a great script.

      1. Totally! I found such acceptance and understanding in accepting and understanding people for exactly who they are, p-e-o-p-l-e. And keeping a sense of humor in my heart helps too. ❤

  13. This video was too funny. And I have to add that the dog was pretty funny too. When it was laying on it’s back on the guy’s lap- that is totally Ari! I also love the preface- “Are you sure-?” It wouldn’t enter my mind to ever ask someone these questions and yet I know that people do feel like it’s okay to cross those lines. Thanks for sharing this video!

    1. Yes, that Corgi was so Toby. He lays on his back like that as well. When I saw the video for the first time I couldn’t believe they had a Corgi in it. It’s not often you see them (unless you’re at Buckingham Palace).
      John and I have been asked some of these questions a few times, but not so much over the last few years. I’m so glad you enjoyed the video because it certainly had me laughing lots.

    1. Can you imagine? John and I have been asked “are you sure you’re not brothers?” a few times. Also, when on holiday in New York a few years ago, when asked where we were from we got asked “London? Do you guys know Duncan and Ted? They’re gay and live in London as well.” We couldn’t keep a straight face 😀 (No pun intended).

      1. Ha HA! Some people still have a bit of a hard time with it don’t they, and are not sure how to react. I love the fact that they think all gay people must know each other as well! 🙂

        1. They do, and I’ll never forget that, nor the work that many have done for giving gay people the freedom they now have. However, I can see why this video was made and I think the humour in it was spot on. The actors did a really great job (as did the gay gay who wrote and filmed it).

  14. The video is well presented…but I’m guessing, not so funny if you’re up against this all the time. I worked in hotels for a while, had to condition myself to not challenge the bedding type requested when 2 men/women were checking in. It was a lesson learned early. ☺

    1. I don’t know, Van. My partner and I still get asked if we are brothers sometimes. I agree it can be frustrating but we have to look at the light side of it as well. It certainly doesn’t happen as much as it would have done 5 years ago. Silly questions over hate, anytime. We’ve also been asked “do you really want a double bed?” when checking into a hotel, but fortunately not as often as it once happened.
      I agree that the video was very well presented.

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