10 Reasons Why You May Be Gay

Warning! – Contains some adult humour.

Ever wondered if your brother, boyfriend, best friend, boss, or that lovely looking man you pass by every day is gay? Here are the top 10 things to look out for in finding the answer.

  1. Gay men do not like watching or participating in sport.
  2. Gay men love baking quiche.
  3. Gay men always dress well.
  4. Gay men love to go shopping.
  5. Gay men love to watch ‘The Eurovision Song Contest.’
  6. Gay men love to watch re-runs of ‘The Golden Girls.’
  7. Gay men would never apply for a job on a building site.
  8. Gay men love the music of Kylie Minogue.
  9. Gay men can tell you what cardigan best fits the outfit you are wearing.
  10. Gay men lust after all heterosexual men.

These are just some of the things I’ve been told over the years when asked, “Are you gay?” and getting one of the above as an answer when responding “, why do you ask?”

Let’s tackle each one and see if we can find the answers, shall we?

  1. Gay men do not like watching or participating in sport.

False. Although I’m not a massive lover of watching sports and have never shown any signs of participating in any, that does not mean I am gay. There are plenty of gay sportsmen and women in the world (although, as yet, none in the English Premier Football League – ha!). Anyway, I like watching some sports, especially when the ball is curved, and there is lots of mud involved!

2. Gay men love baking quiche.

False. How do you know you’ve been burgled by gay burglars? Because when you come home, they will have tidied up and left you a quiche in the oven!

I like eating quiche, but because I don’t make my own does not mean that I am not gay!

3. Gay men always dress well.

False. While I take great pride in my appearance, you should see some of my gay male friends’ outfits. Plus, even though I like wearing my flannelette, carpet burns & chocolate sauce proof pyjamas, it does not mean I’m always looking smart. Comfort over style always wins.

4. Gay men love to go shopping.

False. I hate going shopping (unless it’s to the Apple store). No, I’ve come into the 21st century now and do all my shopping online.

5. Gay men love to watch ‘The Eurovision Song Contest.’

False. While for many gay men watching the final of ‘The Eurovision Song Contest’ is the straight man’s version of the ‘The FA Cup final’, I know some gay men who prefer watching football to ‘The Eurovision Song Contest.’  *note to self – link back to what you said in point 1, Hugh!* Also, I know many straight men who like watching ‘The Eurovision Song Contest.’ However, getting some of them to admit it is sometimes very hard.

6. Gay men love to watch re-runs of ‘The Golden Girls.’

False. Most do, but so does my sister-in-law, brother-in-law, niece, and Perry (who insists on measuring my inside leg when buying a new pair of shorts!). Some straight people also like watching re-runs of ‘The Golden Girls,’ but that doesn’t mean they’re gay. *Note to self – ask Perry if he watches Eurovision next time I’m shopping online for a pair of shorts.*

7. Gay men would never apply for a job on a building site.

False. There are plenty of gay builders, plumbers, electricians, carpenters, and labourers. There are some female builders, plumbers, electricians, carpenters and hairdressers! Don’t get me wrong, I may have never wanted to be a builder, but it doesn’t stop me from enjoying wearing a hard hat every now and again.

8. Gay men love the music of Kylie Minogue.

False. Many may scream “KYLIE, KYLIE” when one of her songs comes on and dance the night away, but so do some straight men (minus the screaming, of course). The difference here is that Kylie has become an icon in the gay man’s world, whereas somebody like Wayne Rooney or Sir Bobby Charlton may be icons in the straight man’s world.

9. Gay men can tell you which cardigan best fits the outfit you are wearing.

False. A gay man would tell you never to wear a cardigan. Why on earth would anybody want to wear a cardigan unless it’s your Aunt Mabel or Great Gran? They are very unlikely to ask a gay man for his opinion on what is best to wear because they are pretty happy to make their own choice. And don’t argue with them!

10. Gay men lust after all heterosexual men.

False. I’m sorry to disappoint you, but I really do not fancy you or your best man. Yes, some straight men are good-looking, and who’d blame me for putting them on my fantasy date list, but what you might find or think is attractive doesn’t mean that I will. Just like the chocolates in a box of Milk Tray, we’re all different. Now, let me give you those directions to Perry, the tailor’s shop you were asking me for.

Other than asking somebody, how would you decide if somebody was gay?

© 2016 Copyright-All rights reserved-hughsviewsandnews.com.

142 thoughts on “10 Reasons Why You May Be Gay

  1. Still giggling. While most of the points totally apply to one of my gay friends, none of them applies to another one. Loved this post and I’ll send it to my friends, they will have a good laugh about it too as we just recently talked about more or less exactly the same thing 🙂

    1. Thanks for sharing the post with your friends, Sandra. I think for many of us some of the points have been true, whereas others have not. I’m just glad that we don’t get to hear these questions much anymore. That’s why I think for most of us they are laughable.

  2. So there’s those myths exploded then Hugh! Love this, you had me laughing out loud more than once, but mostly, I love how real and down to earth you are whatever you write. I just love reading your posts, end of! And I promise when I next see you not to mention cardigans 😉 xx

  3. All the gay men I’ve met have been brilliant cooks. They also love dining out. None of them have been into sport. They haven’t fancied every heterosexual man, but have still fancied a few. And take it from me, they are impossible to seduce, thinking of my drop-dead dishy housemate from back in my twenties! Still, he was a first class at making up my face, styling my hair, helping me choose what to wear, and giving my aching shoulders a back rub after one of my long nursing shifts. But, most important of all, he was my best friend 🙂

    1. And that’s the most important thing of all, Sarah, in that he was your best friend. I can’t say I’m a good cook, because I’m not, but I do enjoy eating out. I’ve made some terrible meals in my time and gladly gave up for ready-meals from Marks & Spencer. Then I met my Partner who is a fantisic cook and I started eating healthy again.
      A few of our friends are sports mad and one even plays for a rugby team where the entire team is gay. However, the other teams they play don’t care in the least and are out there to play a good game and win. They all get on really well and even have a few beers together after each match.

    1. Brilliant video. Thank you so much for sharing it. I may put it in a post over the weekend. I’ll link to you as a thank you for bringing it to my attention. Do you have an ‘about me’ page on your blog I can link to so that the pingback works?

      1. Thank you I find it very funny.No not yet but its something I am working on, as soon as I can get my head round pages, please feel free just to link. I have your posts on emails so I will get it. If I manage to figure it out though I will let you know 🙂

  4. I thoroughly enjoyed this post. I do have to admit that one of my friends who is gay absolutely LOVES Golden Girls so that did make me laugh. 🙂

  5. By these standards I’m straight…which means I’d better leave my male partner of 23 years.

    Well there was that time that I dressed like Bea Arthur and crept onto a construction site at midnight to decorate the scaffolds with drapes and floral arrangements but I don’t think that counts.

  6. I might be a tad curious about who is gay and who is not, but at the end of the day I’m more interested in whether people are nice, friendly, kind, fun to be with…. that sort of thing. You’re so right, stereotypes don’t work, people don’t fit into boxes, we are all individuals with our own quirks, interests, and personality traits, whatever our sexual orientation.

      1. Okay, now you’ve got me wondering…what the hell were you wearing? 🙂
        Fortunately, I think straight guys are starting to calm down a bit. You’re probably more apt to hear, “What do you mean I’m not your type? What’s wrong with me?” 🙂

    1. Thanks Dorne. Glad it made you laugh. That was one of my intentions with the post.

      In answer to your question – John yes, me no. 😀 I hate having to choose carpets, curtains etc, but John could spend all day looking at the sample books.

  7. And thank you Hugh for putting the sterotypes out to the dustbin. Enjoyed your humour very much. My wife and I are often asked well you are lesbians arnt you? We say well we“ve never had a same sex relationship before and we still fancy rock stars and actors so? It takes all the people to make the world and no one is the same although getting “normals” to admit that is hysterical to watch.

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