Forget About The Oscars, Welcome To The Mildreds!

“And now I’m handing you over to Ben D Itinhalf and Hazel Knutt for a quick look at who is arriving at the Brighton Dome Theatre for the first annual Mildred Awards ceremony.”

“Thank you so much, Heidi Hi, and thank you everyone for joining us on this incredible occasion here in the heart of Brighton and Hove, on the South Coast of the UK.  So, while we await the arrival of the guests, Hazel, tell us a little about what these awards are all about.”

“Well, Ben, the organiser of these awards, Mr Hugh Roberts, decided to invent this award so he can present it to the authors of the blogs which have given him support, inspiration, friendship, enjoyment, and laughter, all with a sense of blogging community, over the last twelve months.  He’s announcing this evening that his own blog has now become Award Free and, in doing so, he is going to present the Mildred Awards once a year on the same night as some other less important award ceremony which is also taking place this evening.”

“Are you referring to the Oscars. Hazel?”

“Yes I am, Ben, but who wants to hear about them when we have the real stars of the world right here?  Little do they know it, but all of these bloggers are being presented with a Mildred Award this evening, by Mr Roberts.  Oh, look here comes one of the first cars right now, lets see who gets out of it shall we?”

“This is very exciting, Hazel, and may I say your teeth are looking very white this evening.”

“Why thank you Ben, and that tie you are wearing is very bright, even with the gravy stains on it.  So, here we go, lets see who is about to arrive at the Mildreds.  Oh, look, it’s Alienora from Alien Aura’s Blog and Sherri Matthews from A View From My Summerhouse.  Both are looking gorgeous in their ball gowns and Ali is giving away some signed copies of her books, Come Laughing! and Long-Leggety Beasties to the waiting crowds.”

“And who’s this arriving right behind them, Hazel?”

“Oh, that’s Maria Brinkley, who seems to have brought her own mangoes with her this evening, and Claudette from To Search And To Find, who I know Hugh was particularly impressed with after telling him that she milked a cow on the morning of her wedding.”

“Impressive stuff, Hazel, and I’ve just noticed Eloise De Sousa arriving and she too is handing copies of her book, Deception, out to the crowds and, look, she’s given a little girl at the front of the crowd her very own copy of Scat The Black Cat, oh how that little girl is going to remember this night for a very long time.”

“Yes, and here comes, Amanda Lyle, from Inside The Life Of Moi, Ronovan from Ronovanwrites and Jen from Jen’s Pen Den, some of the stars, along with Ms De Sousa, of the not quite yet finished continuing story saga of ‘The Grammar Black Market’ and ‘When Ronovan Met Miss Maple’.  Do we have any idea when that story is going to be concluded, Hazel?”

“Well, word has it that the final chapter will be published very soon, Ben, but the stars are still in the process of talks with Warner Sisters to turn the story into a blockbuster movie and book.  My word, the crowds are going hysterical for these people arriving and yes, she’s here, look, Vashti Quiroz-Vega has arrived and she too is giving out signed copies of her book, The Basement.  There were rumours that she may not have been able to make it here this evening due to an earlier engagement she had in Los Angeles, but fellow American bloggers Nishi from The Showcase, Elizabeth from Forest Garden, Kat from Dandelion Fuzz, Nate from The Relative Cartographer, and Chris from Twenty First Summer, persuaded her to join them on the private jet of Suzie, from Suzie81 Speaks, who also arranged for Steve from Steve Says to be collected on route from Aberdeen. It’s been confirmed that Suzie flew the plane herself while the passengers watched the inflight entertainment she laid on – photos of her and Steve on the beach in Blackpool – while being served toffee apples with champagne…

“Sorry to interrupt you, Hazel, but I’ve just heard that Colleen Chesbro from Silver Threading is going to be announcing this evening if the rumours, which have made worldwide news, that the BBC have signed her Swamp Fairy stories to be made into 104 episodes of a children’s TV programme are true.  I can just see her arriving now with Paul from Alfreds Almanac and Serins from Serins Sphere.  Serins, of course, now the international best seller of her A-Z Lowdown on Blogging book which WordPress may well use for future online blogging courses.”

“I’ve just seen the car carrying Meredith Haynes, coming towards us, Ben, she was rather anxious she was not going to arrive on time, after stopping off at Buckingham Palace to drop off Nick, her West Highland Terrier, who Her Majesty The Queen kindly volunteered to look after while she came to The Mildreds.  She’s collected Geoff from TanGental and Andrew from Have Bags, Will Travel, Andrew being able to make it to the awards after his wife finally got back from her shopping trip.”

“Well, would you believe it, Hazel, the rest of these very special people are arriving on foot. My word, the crowds are going wild for Mabel Kwong, Juli Townsend, and Kimberly Fause. Look, Not A Punk Rocker is throwing Lego toys into the crowds, while Amanda from Unique Art Chic is autographing some of the beautiful greeting cards she produces.  Jill from Jill’s Scene was going to be arriving in a tuk tuk, but the driver had one too many beers so she decided to come from the hotel on foot with Charlie from Kirby Rides Again, who she mistook for a taxi company.”

“I’ve just noticed Norm taking photos of the crowds who are taking photos of him, Elizabeth from Tea and Paper, and Grace from Grace Notes.  Grace seems to be giving out love hearts to the crowds which I know will go down very well.  I hope she passes some to us, Ben.”

“Yes, and just to the left of them are Dorne, Florence, Walt and Olga, all joining in with the crowd as they perform the dance from the Birdie Song.  I must say that PeggyDavid, Andyand Gerry, who are also joining in, must know this dance off by heart by the way they are performing it.  It’s going to be quite a night here in Brighton and Hove.”

“Back to you in the studio, Heidi.”

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    1. I created this award as a spoof to the Oscars (which were happening at the time). It was during my early days of blogging. By the time the Oscars came around again, I knew that The ‘Mildreds’ were a ‘one-off’, especially given that my blog had matured and my blogging habits had also changed.

  1. I like this idea Hugh. I have to admit that I have been rather guilty for not answering any of my award posts in awhile. This is a great way to shine the light on some fellow bloggers. And you have done it with such a dramatic flare that it was enjoyable to read.

    1. Thank you. It was my way of promoting other bloggers without asking them to do anything to accept the award. The post went down very well and, for a while, was my most read and commented on post. It also launched me in front of new bloggers who heard about the idea and came by to visit. Sally, who I mention in the post, was one such blogger. She reblogged the post on her blog and since then we’ve grown a great friendship here on WordPress.

  2. Brilliant piece of writing, and thank you for the mention. I’m so flattered to be a part of The Mildreds – thank you for inviting me and I loved seeing and waving to the crowds 😉 Now, what to do with my Mildred… 😀

    I loved watching George and Mildred when I a few years back. They were shown as reruns on TV in Australia. Then there’s not forgetting Fawlty Towers! Don’t know if you’re a fan of those shows, I’m guessing you are 🙂

    1. Oh, I’m a huge fan of British Comedy, Mabel. George & Mildred is currently being rerun over here in the UK, as is Hi-Di-Hi. I liked Fawlty Towers as well, and Absolutely Fabulous is another great show as is The Vicar of Dibley. In fact there are so many to mention.

      Many congratulations on your Mildred Award and I hope you’ll come along to next years event. I’m already planning it! 🙂

      1. We seem to have similar taste in comedy. I also like Are You Being Served? That series made me laugh the most…but I will still say Mr Bean takes the cake for me.

        I gladly accept the award, Hugh. I will make it a point to better prepare myself next year and get something decent to wear. Had to pull on my best jeans this year for the Mildreds a few days ago – what short notice! But oh what fun! 🙂

    1. Hi Elizabeth, you’re very welcome. Apologies for the late response. I’ll head over to the post right now. I see that it has also had a couple of reblogs which is really great news. Don’t hesitate to ask if I can be of any further assistance.
      Best wishes,

      1. Thank you, Hugh. So many have found your post helpful. Thank you for taking the time to pull it together and your generosity in allowing me to publish it. It appears this is a ‘hot topic’ at the moment 😉 Best wishes, WG

        1. I’m so very pleased to see that my guest post has gone down so well, Elizabeth. I really was not expecting it to have been such the hit it has been. Thank you very much for allowing me to write the post for your blog. It was a real pleasure to do so.

        2. It has surprised us both! But it is always good to provide information that people need and can use. And you provided VERY helpful information with this. I hope folks have been coming back to your blog to check out your site after reading your post here 😉

        3. Yes, I’ve had a steady stream of traffic to my blog since Sunday when I posted this post. My guest post on your blog has also generated new followers and traffic. I so very pleased it went down so well, WG. It has certainly made me think about writing more posts which provide information and help people may need.

        4. A good niche 😉 Great news, Hugh. I’ve met so many fascinating people through comments left to your post. There are wonderful blogs I might not have found otherwise. All in all, a great adventure! Giant hugs, E

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